Withdrawal symptoms

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

i want my boyfriend.

i want bouncy queen size bed.

i want floor-to-ceiling window with city view.

i want my boyfriend.

i want pool and jacuzzi.

i want my boyfriend.

i want wifi and broadband internet.

i want split-type aircon.

i want playstation.

i want hassle-free commuting.

did i already mention that i want my boyfriend?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

--

okay self-indulgent whining over. back to the real world.

the first thing that struck me when i got back to my own room was the amount of stuff that i have. my goodness. after living with marlon, who has this ultra-neat zen type room, seeing my own stuff was kind of overwhelming. i want to chuck everything in the trash.

i've started cleaning up little by little, and trying to quash the nagging voice of the packrat in me ("should i throw away this invitation to the baptism of the kid of a girl i used to attend choir with? but the baby's so cute!"). i have multiples of so many things: magazines, shoes and bags (obviously), loose photos, notebooks, and lotions and soaps. i must have about four bottles of lotion lying around my room.

i need storage. pronto. lots of it. and no giant tupperware types either. i need a worktable and chair.

hmm. i guess that means my next big project is giving my room a makeover.

--

i've been feeling blessed lately. to think i almost dreaded coming home. for one thing, i go to sleep feeling pleasantly tired, but much more relaxed than i used to. when i was still at my old job, there were days that just made me crawl into bed stiff with frustration and fatigue. and my skin seems to be much better now.

i got my last paycheck from the factory, and it's a lot more than i expected. so i am facing the next couple of months with a little ease. i know i can take more time to decide on my next step, which will be an important one. i don't want to panic on this next decision, or rush it because i'm running out of money, which was what i was afraid would happen.

i know i could have gotten much more, financially and even career-wise, if i had stayed--even just one more month. i saw that when i visited my friends at the office and got my final paycheck. but in truth, i wouldn't have traded the past month for anything. and that makes me happy, content and hopeful.