Wednesday, June 8

Paris, 10 years later

Do you remember?

Do you remember waking up to days, weeks, months where all you had to think about was what you loved to do most, in the company of the people you most loved to do it with?


Do you remember sound checks and rehearsals...



Churches upon churches...



More masses than you'd ever attended in a single day?



Do you remember passing the hat for money? And being so thankful for every deutschmark, franc, guilder, peseta, tolar, lira, and much later, euro, that our voices earned for us?



Do you remember the bread broken with strangers who made the meals and cared for us, so that after those meals they were strangers no more?



Do you remember taking too long to load the bus with suitcases that got heavier at each stop...



... and laughing at the most ridiculous things that only we could find funny, together?



Do you remember the applause and the cheers, how they made your heart feel all warm inside no matter how tired you were... and smile so hard you thought your face might split apart?



Do you remember singing our joys, sorrows, triumphs, exhaustion, even our goodbyes?



Do you remember what it was like to win?


And what it was like when we had to start all over again?


That was when I wish someone had told me that in spite of everything I feared, what I loved would continue, grow and flourish.


And though the songs may be new ones...


The faces may have changed...


And although now we can only be on the outside looking in...


It looks and feels as sweet as I remember. And I know they'll always remember it this way, too.


Wiping my eyes after the Glee Club sang for the morning service at the American Church in Paris, I asked Gutsy: "Why did we have to grow up?"


I'm not sure, but I think maybe we leave some things behind to make room, to clear space for new and different things...


... things that make new selves of us, and that assure us every day that becoming an adult is worth it.


And while we leave some things behind, some things, like laughter, music and friendship...

 

...are simply forever. 

"We'll always have Paris," goes the famous line from Casablanca. But I think we'll always have much more than Paris. And for that I will always be grateful. 

10 comments:

  1. wow I love the way you wrote this post! So creative!

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  2. i got goosebumps reading this deeps. i would've bawled if i wasn't at work! thanks for this post. so nice to be reminded of the beautiful thing that we had.. rather.. beautiful thing that we still have :)

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  3. Awww.. Tissue please! *sniff*sniff*

    Thanks for sharing, Deeps. This made my day. :)

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  4. i. am. SOBBING.
    but i don't feel sad. i guess when i 'moved on' the moving was so brisk, busy, and so all-consuming, i never really got to say goodbye to all 'moving on' had to leave behind. and reading this brought it all home to me. and i am HAPPY. and GRATEFUL. and FULL OF LOVE. for all i had, all i now have, and all i'll always have with all of you, tandrels, sesqui, kiddies, and zygotes. thank you for this, deepa. and to all of you my ACGC/ACS friends and family, i love you all so much. *BIG GROUP HUG!* (with matching tears and sipon cos i'm still sobbing by myself here!) :-D

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  5. Huhuhu! I remember all those and I miss doing those.

    ACGC is the best thing that happened to me in college. It was the best eye-opener to any pampered youth. It was self-realization at the same time an offering of self. Who can not mature and bloom after experiencing all those?

    I want to do everything all over again!

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  6. Dearest Deepa,

    Thank you for writing this. I am so happy to have had that experience with you and Mims in Paris, retracing our steps with the current Glee Club, and knowing with great certainty that this will always be one of the best years of their lives. My heart is full (and so are my tear ducts. cheekee!). Love you, Deeps! AND I can't wait to see you tomorrow! AND! OMG I LOVE OUR NENE PICTURE!!! I still remember that day. We were so thrilled to have coffee and croissants in Paris :D

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  7. Deeps, what a beautiful post. I always look back at those times to be one of the happiest memories of my life. I wish I slept less on the bus! Hahaha...

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  8. and the single, most indelible memory of that tour is jojo praying the rosary while waiting for the results of marktoberdorf.

    wonderful reminiscing, deeps :)

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  9. *sniff,sniff....wahhhhh*. Deepa, you made me cry! Yes I remember. And I remember with gratitude whatever and Whoever it was that made me say yes to joining the tour. You receive God's grace in the most unexpected places, when you least expect it. It was a 6-week long retreat for me, and I came back enriched and changed in more ways than I could have imagined.

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  10. this will probably be THE reason why i am excited to jet back to Paris. so profound, i have no words. yet im sure you, badz, and all our friends are the only ones that will ever get it. hay, now im more excited:)

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