Friday, March 30

Meet the kiddies


from left to right: me, gids, pia, leo, maggie and jonel. m.i.a.: tor (off being a fashionista in nueva york), mimoy (off being a fledgling opera singer in indiana) and loi (off being an aspiring music student/auditionee at time of photo).

a brief history of the kiddies: we were the youngest members of the glee club when it spun off into being the acs; some of us had just stepped up from being trainees. as the tendres (late-thirties and above) and the semi-tendres (mid-twenties and above) seemed to naturally aggregate in and out of our little sphere of choral music, so did we. i don't remember who started calling us "kiddies" (short for "glee club kiddies" or "acs kiddies) , but it kind of fit, since we -- and others -- would always see ourselves as the kids of the group.

the kiddies are the friends i thought i had. until recently, when i had the great pleasure of rediscovering that they are the friends i really do have. i won't expect that to make sense, but that's what it is.

these photos were taken at our march kiddie dinner in north park -- the first of the monthly kiddie gatherings that i'd ever been to. we had another one just last week at maggie's house, when loi got back, where we sated ourselves with pizza, loi's lomi, banana walnut praline cake from roshan samtani (incidentally maggie's neighbor), pugon, red iced tea, and wonderful company.


landmark ladies: me, gids and pia

bisayas + papista: leo, mags and jonel

over lomi that night, pia declared: "i love being with you guys! i'm so lucky to have you!"

i didn't say it then, but i agree with her. i guess these these photos are like a delayed outburst of my own.

i'm the first among the kiddies to move into a world that's not so kiddie-like: away from the world of school and first jobs into marriage and the eventual family of my own. but i take immense joy in the knowledge that part of me, the part that loves these guys and fully enjoys the friendship we share, will always, always be a kiddie.

Name game

with a name like mine, this is far from the only entry i can post about my name. but anyway i nicked this from jeline.

so does my name really mean anything?

You entered: Deepa Catherine Arevalo Paul
There are 25 letters in your name.
Those 25 letters total to 112.
There are 13 vowels and 12 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 4
The characteristics of #4 are
: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.
The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. (Hmmm. So far this doesn't sound a lot like me.) You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. (Maybe I should take up Celia's invitation to join her ikebana group.) Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. (Jackpot!) You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3
A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.

You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.

The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.

On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. (Hmmm. Na-conscious tuloy ako.) Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 1
An Inner Dream number of 1 means:
You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

Noooneeenooo

from gatchie

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. speechwriter
2. miss saigon audition facilitator
3. freelance copywriter
4. resume writer

FOUR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER
1. labyrinth
2. the princess bride
3. the sound of music
4. terminator 2: judgment day

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. bel-air
2. dasmariƱas village
3. forbes park (on a street called flame tree road -- diba pwedeng pang-tv series?)
4. palm village (GROWING UP IN MAKATI ROCKS! I LOVE MAKATI!)

FOUR TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH:
1. lost
2. ...
3. ...
4. ... (ohhh-kay for a person who works in TV, i sure don't watch it a lot)

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. puerto princesa, palawan
2. granada, spain (go las otras!)
3. brussels, belgium
4. bangkok, thailand

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. dark chocolate
2. mcdonald's cheeseburgers
3. kfc brownies
4. coffee jelly

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. pwedeng in singapore lounging by the boyf's pool
2. andalusia i miss you!
3. clara ramona's intro to flamenco class (it's going on right now)
4. ... but here is really good, too :-)

FOUR PEOPLE WHO WILL ANSWER THIS MEME
1. mimi, if she still reads my blog
2. nette
3. toni
4. ... anybody?

Monday, March 19

The house on Algier Street (2)

continued from this.

---

i rang the doorbell. shortly after, a small, brown-skinned, pleasant-faced girl answered the door.

"puwede bang mag-inquire tungkol sa classes?" i asked.

"opo!" she said, beaming, and ushered me in.

i made my way up a narrow, cream-colored stairwell, whose three flights were lined with posters upon posters mounted on thin, hard wood. these posters had come from all over the world, it seemed, heralding performances upon performances by a singular, striking figure: world-renowned flamenco dancer clara ramona.

this house had become her home and her studio.

lady of the house

when i first started getting interested in flamenco classes, jeline told me about hearing the distinctive of flamenco shoes as she was walking down algier street one february afternoon. looking up, she saw a huge tarpaulin plastered on a house. it said: clara ramona centro de danza flamenca. after falling head over low-heeled, stomping feet in love with flamenco in granada last november (more on which later), naturally, i just had to check it out.

i remember googling "clara ramona" and turning up results from boston, taiwan and madrid, among others. "there must be some other dancer named clara ramona," i thought to myself. "the one stuck teaching in manila can't possibly be the same woman who's done all of that."

but, as i found out that saturday afternoon, she was. not only that; she was filipina!

i sat in the rear of the room as she led a handful of students through the graceful, dignified movements of her classical spanish dance class, which kind of looked more like ballet than flamenco. she was clad in a tight brown top and flowing skirt wrapped around her and tucked into her waistband.

as she moved, i caught her eye in the mirror. she smiled at me, almost as if she knew me.

to be continued

Happy birthday Mom!

my mom turned 58 last friday. we went out for dinner at banana leaf curry house, the last full show of dreamgirls at the podium (one night only! one night only!) and coffee at starbucks. it was a nice date with my family, quite a different way to spend friday night :-)

at the end of the evening, i presented her with my gift, which i had worked on for a couple of days.

her favorite flower (lilies), her favorite colors (purple and turquoise), framing something i hope she'll always find beautiful -- herself!

it's a mirror, okay. i just propped it up on lulu for the photo. i bought it plain and bare at ikea two weekends ago and decided to break out the acrylics. 'twas fun :-)

incidentally, my wedding palette is pretty close to this: amethyst, aquamarine and dark gold.

A story about stories

i used to have a story about me.

and that story was that i wasn't a writer. that writing was just something i "did", like in my spare time, or when i felt like it, or to make money when i needed money. and that writing wasn't really important to me, or it wasn't really me. now that might sound kind of funny considering i've been writing all my life, people know me as a writer, and i make my living now off of writing.

but there. i never thought i was a writer because i wanted to be other things. and wanting to be other things than a writer, my story went, meant that i couldn't possibly be a real writer. for a very long time, my story went, i was a frustrated singer. (boy, you don't know how frustrated.) i was potentially a phenomenal solo singer... if i could just have more money, or more courage, or more talent, or more time.

being a potential something feels really great, let me tell you. it gives one an excuse to be not-quite-good at, or not really put yourself into, what you're doing at the moment. you can always claim, "oh but i'm not really a writer. i'm actually really trying to be something else." how convenient!

so i chose to be a struggling singer. there was a whole sh*tload of drama and an odd sense of nobility in all that struggling. and don't we like our drama.

so that was one story: "i'm not really a writer."

within that story was another one: "i'm not really a writer. i can't write fiction."

which was true. i really couldn't. i was only good for magazine articles, newspaper articles, research, speeches, analyses, business writing, essays, papers, press releases, copy, blurbs, plugs, blogs, and the occasional poem. ang engot diba? ang dami-dami ko na ngang sinusulat, hindi pa ako writer. but real writers, my story went, could write fiction. and i couldn't. i didn't want to worry about plot and characterization and all that rot. and since i couldn't, or didn't, then i wasn't a real writer.

in freshman english class, doreen fernandez once assigned us to write a three-page short story. i didn't. i wrote a fictionalized account of childhood memories with my dad. then in class, my classmates' stories got read out loud -- and they were honest-to-goodness fictional stories, about fictional people who had wings and cut themselves and went crazy and looked at life from inside tupperware containers (ang galing ng mga kaklase ko, actually). and i looked at my story and realized, this is my life -- this isn't fiction.

doreen (bless her soul) had me read my story in class, and effusively, generously praised it. so i thought -- okay, this ain't fiction, but it works. people love this stuff. i get praised for it. so makes perfect sense if i stick to this. just this.

and then -- can you guess? i never wrote, or tried to write fiction. ever. it was just too much fun being good at everything else to risk it.

so that was the story. recently i've recognized it for what it was. just a story. i gave it up.

and what lay behind it was a real story. my very own, first-ever piece of short fiction. 813 words of it, written in an hour and a half yesterday afternoon.

what lay behind it was a real writer. capable of writing anything, including fiction.

what lay behind that story was me.

Monday, March 12

Trailers and 300

caught the last full show of 300 last night at rockwell with gideon and jeline. it was fun, i don't know why i've never watched movies (or trailers) with them before.

trailers. that movie of mr. bean going to the beach in europe kind of reminds me of the acs on tour.

die hard 4.0 starts out like a corporate avp for a telecom company.

the trailer for -- norbert? norbin? norvin? -- basta eddie murphy movie was surprisingly funny. is there some kind of prosthetics award-giving body somewhere in the world? 'cause that there is a really convincing fat suit.

jeline on the reaping: "another satanist-apocalyptic movie." gideon helpfully cleared up my confusion on the plagues of egypt and the signs of the apocalypse. the reaping is about the former, although i know some people for whom a rain of frogs (the third plague) might as well mean the end of the world.

i liked how the trailer for the next fantastic four movie played out as just one continuous scene. i couldn't care less about the fantastic four, but even i goggled when the silver surfer burst out onto the scene. and i don't even know what he does except gleam and surf.

me on sunshine, which immediately followed: "another scientific-apocalyptic movie." we all giggled when the title was revealed at the end. "from the director of trainspotting comes... sunspotting." titter titter.

300. as promised by its promos, the movie was gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous. charlie (my partner art director) would pee his pants at every scene. abs, abs everywhere. it got so overblown at some point (was it when the oracle started exposing her nipples or when leonidas and the missus started going at it?), which made it so much more fun to watch.

may i just ask why the asians have all the circus freaks? ("how imperialist!" hissed jeline at some european-versus-asian dialogue.) is it so you know who to root for? because of course you'll root for the hotties.

gerard butler's accent-and-underbite combo struck me as strange. scottish pala siya. "they aw thweatening spawta!" mock-frothed jeline. "prepare for glowy!" he roared, purposely rippling his abs. subtext: "and flex!"

gay undertones abounded, which is unsurprising considering they're all equipped with cgi eight-packs and large padded panties (where did leonidas get the apple he had for a mid-skirmish snack? was that the bulge in his skivvies?). the two prettiest soldiers flirt with each other on the battlefield. "ay. doodams na yan!" murmured gideon. xerxes kept insisting he was divine. subtext: "i am divine... brown" (jeline). "i am divine... and fabulous!" (me).

pero in fairness, maganda talaga siya. as in beautiful, visually. plot- and dialogue-wise, obviously nobody set out to reinvent the classic guy battle movie, which was fine by me. i liked faramir's narration (who's that actor again?), although he rasped through most of it. and to have started out with a vision of the movie looking that gorgeous, and to have followed through on it... wow. galeng. i even liked the closing credits.

you can check out the posters on the imp awards site. i love the exclamation marks on everything, it's so old-hollywood overpromising/campy. and the "beautiful death" poster (yes, one of the few without the exclamation marks) is one of my favorite versions.

update: okay, i just came from a shoot and according to paolo contis (o diba showbiz ang lola mo), all the abs in that movie were genuine flesh and blood. apparently he read somewhere that the spartans worked out only their biceps and abs six months prior to filming. makeup plus the color grading must have just emphasized the outlines.

divine... and fabulous!

Thursday, March 8

Filipinas

hey, the second article i wrote for the philippine star's ystyle section has been published. i'm posting the full text below, but you can also check it out here (not for long, though).

i can type really fast without looking at the keyboard, and i was really grateful for that skill when i interviewed isa (who told me she is rina's aunt). if i had been hunched over my laptop, i might have missed how fun and inspiring she was! i was blown away by how firmly she stood for her artistic vision in the face of discouragement, indifference, difficulty and even... drumroll please... offers to buy her work, a.k.a. money. (i would have probably sold out. haha.) i was also blown away when it occurred to me that isa had become what she'd intended the women in her photos to be... real and inspiring.

her staff actually gave me a really comprehensive media kit and press release. theoretically i could have just done a couple of nips and tucks and turned those in well before deadline, but i enjoyed my conversation with isa too much to be a sly, cheating shmuck.

incidentally, i've actually been to the unesco house in paris, where isa showed her photographs. acs performed there last october.

anyway, here's the article. see if you can guess who the "false start" was.

Filipina greats

By Deepa Paul
The Philippine STAR 03/02/2007

To the public at large, Filipinas is a series of photographs of 30 Filipina women. Having first opened in February 2006, Filipinas, the exhibit, shows the faces and stories of women who are pioneers in their respective fields, whose example or leadership paved the way for other Filipina women to become more than what was expected of them. But to photographer Isa Lorenzo, creative director of Silver Lens Photography, Filipinas is "a four-year journey."

The journey began, as most do, with an idea; for Filipinas, it was Isa’s idea of an "homage to women who have reached lifetime successes." Having heard about some of these women since childhood, Isa set out to put together a list of women who had, in some way or other, gone beyond themselves in areas that were difficult. "My qualifications for inclusion in this list were accomplishment and age—they must have done a lot in their lives and they must be old enough to not screw up their achievements."

She intended her list to include only 12 women, but Isa soon realized that the Filipina’s power to inspire, and the number of lives that deserved acknowledgement, could not be limited to such a small number. "We have a lot of Filipinas who are firsts in Asia, like the first female mayor in Asia, the first Asian graduate of the Harvard school of medicine. By the way, she’s 97 and still practicing!" Isa quips.

Getting Started

List in hand, Isa’s journey had barely begun. There was the task of learning about each of the 30 women on the list and hunting down people who knew them—children, grandchildren, relatives, students, and friends—and would agree to deliver Isa’s letters of introduction and samples of her work. There was having to deal with rejection for reasons of health or vanity; an unnamed patron of the arts promptly and firmly declined upon learning that she would have to be photographed without makeup. There was the logistical nightmare of scheduling the shoots, despite the fact that Isa only required a maximum of 20 minutes of actual shooting time. "These women are so busy, it’s insane!" Isa exclaims "The most difficult was (National Bookstore founder) Socorro Ramos – we had to schedule her 15 minutes of shooting time six months in advance!"

There were false starts, too – such as the very first subject Isa chose to photograph. "As soon as I began shooting, I knew I had the wrong woman. I felt like running away! Hindi ko siya kaya!" Isa says, laughing. "I didn’t shoot for three months after that." Trauma? Perhaps, but Isa is quick to say that she used the time to thresh out her artistic vision for the exhibit, and to focus on what she wanted to achieve with the photographs she would compile. The subject of Isa’s first shoot (a larger-than-life, controversial historical figure) never made the final cut – a conscious exclusion that Isa feels "changed the nature of the project completely."

Then came the processing of the film, the edits, the search for the paper to print the mural-sized images on, coordination with the printer, meetings with various national institutions as venues for the show, and on and on. The project took roughly three years to complete.

Hitting The Road

Filipinas’ opening night at the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP) almost exactly one year ago was not the end of the road, but the beginning of a new and unimagined path beyond the gallery. Filipinas traveled to universities all over Metro Manila, where it faced the puzzled scrutiny of students who goggled at the size of the photos and wondered what the big fuss was about these bare-faced, deeply lined, and in many cases, completely anonymous women.

What they discovered beyond the bafflement and curiosity blew them away, much to Isa’s delight. "We brought the show to Far Eastern University, where one girl remembered that she had totally hated her high school. But she had one teacher, just one that she really loved, who made all the difference and kept her from just suffering through high school," Isa recounts. "These women are like that. It then became very real to these students that just one woman can make a world of difference." More importantly, Isa says, once students saw that, they began thinking beyond the world of "I can never be like that, I’m not from where they’re from, I don’t have what they have" to "I can make a difference, too."

From gallery to university to retail spaces and malls, Filipinas continued to move and inspire with its clean, stark images and powerful message. It was only a matter of time until its journey proved to be entirely unstoppable. So unstoppable, in fact, that in December last year, one of the world’s biggest organizations came knocking with an invitation.

Paris And Beyond

Upon the suggestion of Filipinas curator Deanna Ongpin-Recto, Isa had tossed off a letter to UNESCO in July 2006 – and had promptly forgotten about it. So the invitation to show the exhibit at the UNESCO House in Paris came as a total, yet welcome, surprise. Filipinas was chosen by the UNESCO Section on Women and Gender Equality to be shown for a full week, in celebration of International Women’s Day on March 8. Isa was also asked to speak about the photographs and bring her UNESCO audience face to face with a few of the women whose photographs were part of the exhibit.

Paris marks Filipinas’ first step outside Philippine borders – and that, Isa feels, makes a huge difference not just to the photographer and her subjects, but to Filipinas and the Philippines. "The face of the Filipina known to the world is the OFW. But these women are not that. Not many people know about this side of the Filipina," Isa emphasizes. "People will see that the Philippines has something more to show. It will be acknowledged on a different level, on a global platform." It is Isa’s belief that that global recognition will pave the way for greater acknowledgment and appreciation where it truly counts – back home.

After being parked in Paris until late spring, Filipinas will continue its journey across Europe in May 2006, visiting Madrid, Rome, Geneva and "somewhere in Germany, maybe Berlin." The Department of Foreign Affairs has taken Filipinas under its wing and put Philippine embassies to work finding places to show it in Europe; no mean feat, considering the difficulties posed by an election year. "The embassies’ minds are on anything but arts and culture," Isa says wryly. "But Filipinas is apolitical, neutral, it’s para sa bayan – and they get that. That made it easier, in a way."

The photographs have been compiled into a book for publishing in June, and arrangements are being made with the Undersecretary for American Affairs to bring Filipinas to the United States later in the year. Having enjoyed a lengthy run uncommon to most local exhibits, Isa is committed to propelling Filipinas as far into the future as it can possibly go – a commitment that stands in the face of offers to buy or borrow select photographs. "This is not a selling show, where the work gets broken up into pieces for sale," Isa emphasizes. "It was so difficult to gather all of these women. Why will I ever take them apart?"

After traveling abroad and going down the publishing route, what else lies ahead in Filipinas’ path? Isa thinks back to the beginning for the answer. She remembers assembling the list, being extra careful about inclusions or exclusions, combing through fields of society and far-flung communities for exceptional lives, and scrutinizing these lives for ethical value. "It was so hard to find good people who are still good and still at it," Isa says. "But there are more out there. I just haven’t had an opportunity to meet them, and photograph them, just yet."

* * *Filipinas is open for public viewing at UNESCO House, 7 Place de Fontenoy, Paris, until March 9. It is presented in cooperation with the Museum Foundation of the Philippines, Department of Foreign Affairs, National Commission for Culture and the Arts, and Cultural Center of the Philippines. For more information, visit www.filipinas.silverlensphoto.com/about.htm

Sunday, March 4

Finally

they were gorgeous when i first got them over a year and a half ago. but a couple of weeks ago i took a good hard look at my favorite pair of sexy black snakeskin pumps and admitted the following things to myself:
  1. i wore them everywhere and had really run them into the ground
  2. they made a godawful clacking racket when i walked in them
  3. i had had them repaired once too often
  4. they were so loose on me, i found myself slipping out of them while walking
  5. there was a hole in the toe of one sole
  6. the tips of the toes could be... well... blacker
  7. walking in them had started to make my legs hurt
ergo, they had to go. boo hoo. i realize that it's really sad to have felt as sad as i did at the thought of retiring an old pair of shoes. ah, well. so, out with the old, and in with the new...

out with the snakeskin and in with the patent leather!

aren't they pretty? *squeals*

i got them at takashimaya yesterday afternoon with marlon's yearly bounty of shopping vouchers (he's awarded them at work for exceptional nerdiness). i've gotten some fabulous things from these annual voucher jaunts -- like some really good shoes, makeup, wacoal lingerie that would cost me an arm and a leg back home, and my first chanel.

oh and yes, i'm spending the weekend with marlon in singapore. ;-)