The end and the beginning

last week, marlon and i ended our four-and-a-half year long-distance relationship. well, the long-distance part, at least. and there are no words to describe what it is to finally know that it's over, and that we made it.

when i welcomed home for the very last time one week ago, marlon said only two things. "i'm home for good," and "you waited."

me? i was unable to speak. a small voice in my head whispered, "we'll never be apart again." i know that the only time we'll ever have to be apart again for long is if one of us goes first. literally, from here on in, it's till death do us part.

i just held my husband-to-be in my arms, smiled and cried, as i considered the magnitude of experiences that made up my world for the past four years, and that would now be part of our past.

early-morning taxi rides to the airport. tearful evenings before somber farewells. joyfully frantic races for flights and visas. the familiar bone-deep longing that could only be expressed by white-knuckle grips on the phone receiver and low, intense voices. tight, crushing hugs spaced months apart, or just weeks apart if we were lucky or rash enough. friday nights spent home but not alone, sort of. and so much more.

oddly enough, i will miss all of this, in a way. simply because for a very long time, that was who we were.

yet nothing can eclipse the joy of the future we're living into -- one that waits to be filled with a thousand new ways for us to be.