Brainless things to do while you're still half asleep

What was...
1. the last movie you watched? the princess diaries 2. the ultimate girly tweener flick.
2. the last tv show you watched? will and grace--two sundays ago.
3.the last song you heard? spin the bottle by juliana hatfield.
4. the last thing you bought? an earthquake cheese loaf at bread talk.
5. the last place you went to? ateneo.
6.;the last food you ate? a slice of earthquake cheese bread.
7. the last thing you heard from anyone? rose telling me she wasn't feeling well.
8. the last thing you said to your parents? don't really remember, but we were talking about the princess diaries.
9.the last thing you said to one of your friends? ingat mi!
10. the last thing you read? the amber spyglass by philip pullman.

Who was...
1. the last person you called? marlon.
2. the last person who called you? marlon.
3. the last person you texted? gutsy.
4. the last person who texted you? mimi.
5. the last person who said good night last night? marlon.
6. the last person who said I love you? marlon.
7.the last person who gave you a testimonial? ian (i think).
8. the last person who messaged you [friendster]? myron.
9.the last person you hugged? chris fong.
10. the last person you saw on tv? michael v. dancing in black leather hot pants.

Do you...
1. believe that love is forever? yep.
2. get hurt by people easily? for certain things, yes.
3. believe that all people are generally good at heart? yes, except when i'm commuting. falling victim to a masturbating cabbie tends to make one highly suspicious while in transit.
4. sing in the shower? no.
5. like to splash puddles when it rains? only when i'm wearing kick-ass boots.
6.notice when people have pretty eyes? yes.
7. tend not to worry, even when you know something bad is about to happen? no. i was born to obsess.

1. Can you be anyone you want to be? yes. however, i am often a victim of inertia.
2. Do mean people make you sad? they make me angry first.
3. Does ice cream make you happy? only momentarily.
4. If you see a pretty girl walk down the street, do you smile and tell her she's pretty? no. i will most probably check her outfit for originality.
5. Have you ever cried at a movie? of course. the most bawling i did was towards the end of dancer in the dark.
6. Is it cute when old people are holding hands? yes
7. Are you a happy person? right now? could be better. or maybe i just need more coffee.
8. Is it okay to cut off Barbie's hair? yes. my sister and i had barbies that suffered big time from the 80's punk invasion.
9. Have you ever laughed so hard your stomach hurt? yep.
10. Are you slightly lazy? what do you mean, slightly?
11. If you have twenty dollars, are you rich? yep. every little bit counts.

X marks the spot

[ ] I wish I was a different ethnicity

[x] I think i have a sleeping disorder - it's a proven fact that my sister and i sleep way, way too much.

[x I am short - but i prefer "petite".

[ ] I am tall

[ ] I prefer winter over summer

[x] I am a geek

[x] I am a shopaholic - bargain hunter and window shopper, really

[x] I am reasonably intelligent

[ ] I am attracted to girls

[x] I am attracted to boys

[x] I like British accents - sure, why not? i like most accents, although singaporean and thai accents always leave me a bit perplexed

[ ] I smoke regularly

[ ] I smoke socially

[x] I drink socially

[ ] I drink regularly

[x] I get drunk easily - just ask marlon

[ ] I do drugs

[x] I will never date a bad kisser - thankfully, i never have!

[ ] I've lied to avoid kissing them again

[ ] I brush my hair at least 50 times a night

[ ] I am religious

[x] I am not religious but have morals

[ ] I lie frequently

[x] I am impulsive

[x] I am hardworking

[ ] I liked Eternal Sunshine Of The SpotlessMind

[ ] She's All That is one of my favouritemovies

[ ] I am good at History

[x] I speak more than two languages - well, a smattering of German and some long-forgotten Spanish

[x] I enjoy taking pictures - i used up at least 17 rolls of film on our 2001 european tour

[x] I like spending money on myself

[x] I like spending money on others

[x] I have a regular income

[x] I earn money on a job-by-job basis - that too, since my regular income never seems to be enough

[x] I pay my own bills - my own expenses, actually

[ ] I rely on my parents for money

[x] I can cook - i can probably throw together some semblance of a meal when forced. just be ready for lots of prito

[x] I enjoy cleaning - i have cleaning and organizing "sprees", although these are rather far between

[ ] Tidiness is a must in my life

[x] I like clutter - too clean is freaky

[ ] My idea of good music is Britney Spears shutting up - hell yeah

[ ] I have heard of Blonde Redhead

[ ] I enjoy Blonde Redhead

[x] I am fashion-conscious - well, i'm not completely clueless, but neither am i a trend sheep

[ ] I have good taste

[x] People tell me I have good taste

[x] I excel academically

[x] I am told I have yet to fulfill my potential.

[ ] I am good at sports

[ ] I am good at certain sports

[x] I am creative

[x] I am artistically inclined

[x] I want to be an artist when I grow up - artist as in musician, ha

[ ] I want to be an engineer when I grow up

[x] I eat when I'm upset - that's why i never lose weight when i'm stressed. i envy the people who do. i just get zits and eyebags.

[ ] I cannot adapt to change

[x] I am interested in politics - to some extent. sometimes it gets too depressing and frustrating, so i give up and lapse into oblivious ditziness

[ ] I have shoplifted

[x] I download MP3s.

[x] I have done underage drinking - this is manila. hasn't everyone?

[x] I have gone underage clubbing

[ ] I can dance reasonably well

[ ] I can dance extremely well

[ ] I dance like a cardboard gorilla

[x] I can sing.

[x] I sing like someone stepped on my foot - only in my "pamugun" solo. :-)

[x] I can swim

[x] I enjoy surveys

[x] I enjoy surveys when I'm bored

[x] I keep a journal

[ ] My teachers don't like me

[x] I enjoy controversy

[x] I can be a bitch/bastard.

[ ] I have a thing for bad boys/girls

[ ] I have tattoos

[ ] I've been in a nudist colony

[ ] I'm not sure if I want to have children

[ ] I'm not sure if I'll get married

[x] I know who I will marry - he's waiting for me to beat him to the proposal. HA!

[x] Someone has a crush on me

[x] I am interesting

[x] I am a good liar - at least i think so, but people tell me i'm very transparent

[x] People enjoy talking to me

[x] I annoy people from time to time.

[ ] I am a born leader

[x] I am a born leader but shouldn't lead.

[x] I've sneaked out of the house.

[ ] I enjoy fetching.

[ ] I have a foot fetish.

[ ] I have a shoe fetish.

[x] I watch Sex And The City

[x] I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty. - i think she's interesting. pretty doesn't seem to apply to her.

[ ] I want to be J Lo.

[ ] I cut myself

[x] I have cut myself - only accidentally.

[x] I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.

[ ] I hate popular people

[ ] I think cheerleading is a sport

[ ] I am photogenic

[ ] I live in Chucks

[ ] I think graffiti is art

[ ] I have dated a criminal

[ ] I have been cheated on

[ ] I have cheated on someone

[x] I have a temper

[x] I like playgrounds

[ ] I dance in the rain

[ ] I am obsessed with Shakespeare

[x] I have tan lines

[x] My favourite color is pink - nakikita mo ba itong blog na ito?!?!?!

[x] My favourite color is black - see my closet

[x] I am musically inclined - although i'm a late starter

[x] I like listening to music

[ ] I like music-blasting cars

[x] Thongs are comfortable

[x] I like flip-flops - to wear at home. i stopped wearing them out when i realized flip-flops + skirts make my legs look like coke 1.5 bottles. i remember the day when i had this epiphany: i was at bugis and thought i looked so hideous that i bought a new, more flattering pair of shoes (only because they were on sale).

[x] I know what monogamy is

[x] and... I believe in love

Highlights from last weekend

this post has been saved as a draft for four days. now that we've closed the magazine and have hammered the final nails into the coffin of the notebook PC MIR, i have a bit of leeway to finish this.

Friday

1) hmmm. kinda hard to think of actual "highs" for this as i stayed an office drone till 930pm. oh, ok—emper, rose, darius and i (the last OT stragglers) went down the street to the condo of charlie (charlene manuel, from EC, not to be confused with ex-boss who i hope to never see again in my life) to join the going-away party for melita, also from EC. it was melita’s last day on Friday, and i’ve never even met her. i don’t think we were even introduced at the party. anyway, it was winding down by the time we got there. we just hung out for less than half an hour in charlie’s unit while darius pored over charlie’s old issues of marie claire with the avid interest of a married man (on the cover: "find your hidden hot spots!").

2) no traffic on the way home. 1030 on a Friday night, and while all the other normal souls were streaming into makati, i was making my escape from corporate land. wheeee.

Saturday

1) voice talent audition. it was fun being in the whole amorsolo-mile long building area with its we-do-it-for-love-and-definitely-not-the-money production atmosphere. all the backroom prod work of flashy ayala ave-makati's ad agencies is tucked into little old offices in that area, which is fun to poke around in. i briefly had to put up with uber-irritating american-accented twangy pretentious VO hopefuls in the lobby, and was thus on my best suplada behavior, nose buried in philip pullman's "northern lights". choice gems:

TWANGY GIRL 1: (talking to TWANGY GIRL 2 about VOs, apparently they've done this sooo many times before) i wish it would always go much longer, y'know? cos, like, you can really only start getting into it by, like, the fifth or the sixth take?

TWANGY GIRL 2: i hear you. like, totally.

TG 1: and i hate it that you have to, like, read? it's always so much easier if she [person facilitating the audition] just talks to you. it's like, so hard? 'cause it's like you have to, like, think while you're reading? y'know? like read and think at the same time?

gag me with a spoon. here's another one.

TG 2: do you feel that whole career-versus-money thing just pressing down on you?

TG 1: yeah, like, totally.

TG 2: i was just talking to a friend in dubai and she went off to be an F/A? it's really good money. and then i found out you don't even have to finish college to do that?

TG 1: oh, yeah?

TG 2: i don't know. i don't want to work around people who never finished college. i mean, what did i study for, you know?

i almost flung "northern lights" at this prattling bedroom-voiced prat. infuriating how talking with a contrived american accent all the time can delude you into forgetting that you live in a country where, what is it now, 80 or 90 percent of the citizenry can't afford to go to college.

2) seeing matutina in the lobby. her daughter and grandkids (?) were waiting to audition.

3) getting all my lines in one take. the woman handling the audition actually apologized to me for making me wait longer than my audition itself. not bad for a first-timer. i hope that means i'll get a project soon. :-)

4) the stepford wives. i enjoyed this, the first non-cutesy comedy i've seen in a while. bette midler was a hoot, glenn close was freaky, and the reality tv show parodies were quite funny. nicole kidman is alarmingly skinny, though.

5) talking to mayte about studying in spain. she's home for a vacation and she's soooooooo skinny! she talked to me about scholarships in spain, which are apparently much easier to get than the fulbright or chevening grants that everyone lusts for. loi and mimoy pointed out that maraming magagaling na singers galing sa spain (think montserrat caballe), so this possibility has given me renewed hope. apparently the best thing about the spanish scholarships (fifteen a year, extended to the philippines presumably to make up for three centuries of colonial abuse) is the 1,000 Euro stipend. they're practically paying you to go study there. viva españa!

Sunday

1) sleeping in until 11:30 a.m. utter bliss.

2) rehearsals. i just looove, loooove, looove our rep. even thomas jennefelt's two anthems, strange as they are, are growing on me. (we have gotten to the point where aui actually called them "witty"). i woke up last wednesday with gyorgy orban's "mundi renovatio" running non-stop in my head. acs was at its balahuric best at the peaks of john p's "ama namen", which we hadn't rehearsed for over a month! and of course, eric whitacre's gorgeous, gorgeous "i thank You god for most this amazing day"--if it wasn't so heavy, i'd want it sung at my wedding. so much fun to sing the ff's on the first page when you're all relaxed and properly warmed up, not dashing in from work or half-dead from a rush-hour commute. i can't wait for our next rehearsal-- am so excited to sing john tavener's "song for athene" again.

3) acs's de buena familia (DBF) acquaintance party. although the acquaintance party bit died after high school, we revived the concept to welcome all of the new people who joined us this year. since we all love a good theme party (past themes: kiddie, pajamas, eighties --way before the eighties became trendy again--, tea and strumpets, pabaduyan), loi outdid himself organizing this year's DBF party. taking a cue from our penchant for making up telenovelas on tour, he made it a sign-up-for-your-costume costume party. he had this long roster of DBF and dukha roles that people had to register for. some of them were really fun to dress up for: pia's social climber, tor's tindera ng sampaguita, jonel's DI, ayie's bulag na anak ng katulong, dada's public high school principal na laging humihingi ng donation.

thanks to my heritage, i was awarded the role of deepak okra, bumbay na alahera (no surprise there, bumbay na naman ako). i had my mom's jewelry in ziploc bags and a notebook to list orders. my best customer (prospective, anyway, as i didn't make any sales that night) was the glamorous ma'am bitchik, who was, ironically enough, dressed up as a yaya. she and mama rosa ooohed and aaahed over all the pieces, and berated me for not price-tagging them beforehand.

4) too much food. again. although it was supposed to be a potluck party, jay tamayo decided to do make it his birthday treat as well and employed our staple caterers, the ever-dependable barrio fiesta. barrio was also responsible for the bongga table settings and buffet line, which made the tamayos' place quite authentic for a DBF party. "sabi niyo de buena, diba? o ayan, de buena!" said jay when we walked in the front door.

5) robin as electronika, the evil contrabida. let me just work on posting pics asap, because nothing i say will do justice to the real thing. nothing at all.

To the AB Comm '04 media empire!

bea's first article in the star, to which i can soo relate. am suddenly nostalgic for the days of m1 (when both marlon and i were at least ten pounds thinner, har har har). i remember our "how-to" assignment for doreen's class. she would have been quite proud.


When bad diets happen to good people
JACKIE O’FLASH By Bea J. Ledesma
The Philippine STAR 08/20/2004

When you’ve been told since the age of six that you’re plumpish – while old people coo and pinch your cheeks – you soon master the art of rolling your eyes and sarcastically answering, "Thanks, lady."

Everywhere I turn, there’s always some person telling me I’m not thin enough – the woman at the department store shaking her head when I timidly ask for a larger size, the underwear billboard over on Edsa with some stick-thin model with large breasts, the decrepit old aunt who would mutter disappointedly,–"If only you were thin, you’d be so pretty!"

Well, I’m sick of it! Sick of the double-sided compliments, the diet fads and drugs and quick-fix solutions, the girdles and other hopelessly useless "thinning supplements." No longer will I jokingly offer a "guesstimate" when the nurse asks me to step on the scales during yearly doctor’s appointments. I’m tired of my failed attempts at bulimia (I could never puke anything substantial anyway’– just lots of gross saliva). But mostly, I’m sick and tired of dieting: the rules and regulations, the disappointment, the tapeworm.

Every year, I’d resolve to eat right and lose weight. I’d watch Oprah and weep whenever they did those before-and-after shows – where the fat housewives would get so depressed, they’d gain like 200 pounds and be so gross their husbands would divorce them and their kids would disown them. In true Oprah fashion, they’d see the light, lose the weight through diet and exercise and show up, post-makeover, beautiful and thin. "I vowed to lose weight," the former fatty would say,""and I did! Thanks to you, Oprah!" Then her husband and kids would come on and embrace her and say, "We’re so sorry we judged you." At this point, I’d be crying into a vat of Rocky Road, wondering,’"Why can’t I be like her?"

Which is why I’ve come up with a foolproof diet plan for people with "weight problems." Being a zaftig person myself, I understand the trials and tribulations of fat people in a way that Suzanne Somers never could. No ab machine or thigh master is going to take your problems away! Is paying someone to make you sweat going to make you happy? I don’t think so. Plus, sweaty overweight people are just not attractive. So, take my word for it. This, my friends, is going to change your life.

Fat Attack

1) Be optimistic. As soon I start a diet, I’m automatically obsessed with food. It’s all I can think about. So for this to work, you need to psych yourself up and be positive. Don’t let the dieting get you down! Whenever I feel like cramming a whole cake into my mouth, I try to do something else. I’ll reorganize my filing cabinet or alphabetize my books or maybe do some shopping. There’s nothing like going to the mall and looking for a really good pair of shoes to take my mind off food.

Like a couple of weeks ago, I went shopping with my mom. As soon as we entered the store, I grabbed a wagonload of fun skirts, flirty tops and sleek dresses. Of course, none of them fit. My mom, meanwhile, had found lots of stuff, but most of them were "too big," she said, after I emerged from the dressing room, sweaty from the exertion of trying to force down a blouse without ripping the seams. When I came out empty-handed, she was all like, "What happened? Didn’t it fit?" And I was like,""Did you just call me fat?" my voice rising with each syllable. When she sighed, I got even huffier and started shouting, "The clothes here were made for Asian gnomes!" When she tried to pacify me, I yelled, "I’m sick of this bull. I’m going to McDonald’s. I need a Big Mac."

2) Figure out stuff that leads to over-eating. Example: shopping, mom, undersized clothing.

3) Just say no to trendy diets. What’s up with all the hullabaloo over Atkins? Didn’t anyone hear about the guy who invented it and then died from a heart attack? "It was a cardiovascular problem," you say defensively, "it had nothing to do with fat intake." There is something seriously wrong with people who order a burger and then take out the bread, lettuce, and tomato – like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Fastfood beef patty without the fixings? Gross. I’m sorry but anything that champions deep fried pork over good old vegetables just seems kind of blasphemous to me. Lots of people claim it works, and I have to agree. Sure, it works. With all the diarrhea from the icky beef and pork you’ll be eating, you’ll no doubt lose weight.

"And what about The South Beach Diet?" you inquire smugly.""It combines good fats with low carbs for a healthy balanced diet." Well, the South Beach Diet counts Fabio and Sylvester Stallone as major fans. That doesn’t seem right, does it? And what’s with the South Beach name anyway? Are we all supposed to look like people from Florida? They’re all overly-tanned and run around the place in roller blades. Not exactly my ideal.

4) Stay away from parties. Magazines will tell you to "Eat an apple and drink lots of water," so by the time you get to the party, you’ll be full and ready to mingle, without worrying about the food. I don’t know what kind of parties these people are talking about. I mean, have you seen the buffet at these things? There’s nothing like some spareribs, pasta and shrimp to make you go Ahab on your diet and attack the buffet.

5) Pick a sport you’re horrible at. You shouldn’t use a sport you’re good at to lose weight because cocky people never lose weight. They just beat the crap out of people during tennis games and never seem to sweat. Instead, pick something dangerous like cliff diving or tag football. All that nervous energy automatically makes you sweat. And if you lose a leg, that’s like twenty pounds right there.

6) Keep a food journal. Divide the page into two columns. Label the left, "What I Want" and the right, "What I Ate." And remember: always opt for the healthier alternative. Example:

Breakfast.
What I want: Sausages with scrambled eggs.
What I ate: 1 slice, wheat bread.

Snack.
What I want: Sausages with scrambled eggs, garlic fried rice, sizzling hot bacon and hash browns with a dollop of butter.
What I ate: a lettuce and tomato salad, no dressing.

Lunch.
What I want: Tuna sandwich.
What I ate: Sausages with scrambled eggs, garlic fried rice, two hotdogs and some leftover French fries.

7) Watch infomercials. Almost every thin solution on TV is crap. The point of infomercials is not to get your hopes up by fat-burning hoaxes, but for you to visualize yourself as thin. Like when your track coach tells you to visualize the end line. This works the same way. So, when they do those before-and-after segments, just superimpose your face over theirs as they display their rippling abs and gush about how much happier they are now that they’re hot and skinny. Trust me, it works a lot better than trips to the fat shrink.

8) Avoid beautiful people. Beautiful people are natural diet saboteurs. They’re so used to being the center of attention that when they notice their requisite fat friend start to lose weight, they automatically go crazy and start to sabotage said friend’s weight-loss regime.

It could be your best friend or your next-door neighbor. These people want to keep you fat– because next to you, they look like dainty water lilies fresh from spring’s rainfall. They’re so used to thinking of you as fat, so that when you start to lose weight and the looming possibility that you might end up looking better than them enters their brain, they go ape-shit and start squirting melted butter into your cabbage soup when you’re not looking.

9) Think happy thoughts. Peter Pan did it. And it made him fly. Now if I try to relate this to dieting, I’ll look like a total idiot, so I won’t even bother.

10) Respect yourself. Starvation diets are so 1995. No one does the Calista Flockhart-deprivation thing anymore. It’s just so passe.

So, when you’re on your way to work and you hear your stomach grumble, don’t ignore it ‘til your hunger pangs go insane and you end up passing out in the middle of the street. As soon as you feel hungry, ask yourself, "What would make my tummy the happiest right this very minute?" And if your tummy answers, "A double beefsteak meal with extra rice and gravy from Jollibee," then there’s nothing for you to do but answer your body’s call. Respect your body. Your body is a temple. To disobey your body’s needs is to disrespect it. Respect yourself. Forget that you have a presentation due at work and head for the nearest drive-through – nature dictates that you do this. So, head for home and chow down.

And remember: Oprah’s on at 11.

Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

picked this up while reading the sandman companion. beautiful.

para sa lahat mga kuwentista--at musikero na rin. (i aspire to be both.)

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample an empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

more on arthur o'shaughnessy.

Waiting to exhale

on wednesday, when all this sh*t at work is over and we finally close our october issue and this fugly notebook PC MIR, i will:

(1) leave work promptly at 5:30 p.m.
(2) go home and take my precious, rare bar of ritter sport (a 2001 european tour discovery) out of the fridge and up to my bedroom.
(3) curl up under my blanket and finish reading "northern lights", book one of philip pullman's absolutely gorgeous "his dark materials" trilogy (thanks jeline for lending me the books!).
(4) enjoy my reading and my chocolate and being home early.

mmmmmmm.

Remembering high school.

i guess friendster bulletin boards are good for something after all.

High School: Colegio de Sta. Rosa Makati

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag ceremony? tamad ako and i probably rolled out of bed at ten to 7 again (i lived right beside school, so i really had no excuse). oh, and in senior year i moved to reposo and started hitching with bianca, so i'd only be late if bianca was late.

2. Anong favorite mong bilhin sa canteen? gosh ang dami. i went through a chicken skin phase, a dunkin donut phase, a butterscotch bar phase, a crinkles phase, a spaghetti phase, a brownie phase, a siomai phase and an ice candy phase. lunch was usually either pizza, pasta or a burger. some miracle of early teenage metabolism kept me thin back then... well not really thin since in high school everyone was just positively skinny, but thin compared to today. boo hoo.

3. Na-guidance/principal's/ARO ka na ba? guidance/discipline office because i was always late or half-day. principal's office only because i had to--like when the principal would send me to interschool competitions, or when i had to design the fair t-shirt against my will, or other student-council related stuff. the most memorable principal's office visit was when our principal (a nun whom we unanimously hated) offered me a scholarship just so that i could finish high school. this was not a done thing, and i don't know anyone else from my high school who received the same offer. i was absolutely flummoxed, and even more so when said nun actually forced me to hug her. i think she thought i was overcome with emotion, but i was feeling this violent conflict between my dislike of my high school administration (as personified by our principal) and this unprecedented generous act that they had just done for me, announced to me by the very person we all detested.

4. Sinong favorite teacher/s mo doon? everyone just loooved ms. laceste (math) and her little basket. also ms. rasco (higher math), now mrs. adri. how ironic--math and i had a mutual hate-hate relationship but i loved my math teachers. i also loved mrs. perido (bio and physics) and her paranormal kuwentos.

5. Sinong most hated teacher mo? hmm. ms. de jesus (seriously narrow-minded) and ms. bardon (seriously disturbed).

6. San ka usually tumatambay? Why?

*canteen for meetings--i loved it when we were seniors and all the student council/org officers had this unspoken right to skip class and attend to official business. we'd hold our meetings in the canteen and have endless merienda.

*auditorium during plays--as in! pag patak ng january (playdates were in mid-february, during the fair) hindi ko na nakikita yung classroom ko at all! i used to just go up to the classroom to take quizzes and long tests then rush back down to rehearsals.

*during regular class days i would hang out in the back of the classroom, sitting on the floor. i would either be sleeping, singing with avryl, abby and lindsay (guitar and songhits! bwahahaha!) or telling someone about my lovelife (i was such an open book). mostly i remember talking to mae a lot by the time we were seniors. which suddenly makes me sad that i haven't seen her since graduation.

7. What's your most unforgettable experience? dami rin.

*wearing white socks to CAT (yes, i was the unfortunate michael jackson of my batch)

*listing down teachers' grammatical bloopers with cherry (still have the list)

*going home with skinned knees from cheering practice in second year

*watching dance club practices with envy (didn't everyone want to be a dancer?)

*everything about once on this island (the play julie and i spearheaded when i was a freshman)

8. Most unforgettable anything in high school: to add to the above:

*lobbying for a prom (which turned into a rather expensive party where my then-boyfriend was one of the, like, 3 guys around)

*wearing my first padded bra (it was so padded that i didn't even notice aileen grabbing my boobs as i was working on the bulletin board, hahaha)

*being shocked to discover that some people in higher batches thought i was a major snob, plus that kiss of death adjective, maarte (which meant you were just like girls from other girls' schools outside our twisted, cloistered little nunny nowhere school)

*going to the now-defunct virgin cafe for charo's debut

*daily post-it correspondence between krissy and me (there was a quite a flurry of these after we watched color me badd at hard rock cafe--gosh retro)

*drawing and lettering everyone's love letters (and being privy to everyone's dirt)

*getting all artsy and dirty with aileen and avryl doing award-winning bulletin boards for the monthly bulletin board competitions (my fave was the stained glass christmas one)

*cooking class, where kina-career talaga namin yung mga themes, from costumes/aprons to menus to place settings to invitations (i loved making butter icing and chicken ham)

*flunking my first periodical exam (35 out of 100 in trigo! bwahahaha!)

*talking to krissy about her gala uniform and finding out the next day that she had been absent

9. Varsity? are you kidding? i barely even made it through PE.

10. Sinong una mong nakilala sa high school mo? well, you kind of knew everyone from prep, so this question doesn't really apply to my high school.

11. Sino-sino mga kabarkada mo nung nag-graduate ka from HS? the people i really made an effort to keep in touch with were my barkada (hershel, rachelle, rochelle, cherry and raissa), plus krissy and eena (kikay club!) and by association, christine and nina.

12. Na-mimiss mo na ba yung uniform mo? not at all, particularly not that horrible gala uniform that made us all look like pampers on parade. although if i think about it hard enough, i guess i miss not having to shave my legs because you just wore a long skirt every day.

13. Ilang beses mo nang nawawala ung ID mo? at least three times.

14. Favorite teacher's quotable quote? ms. samson had quite a few. i spent most of her class pretending to attentively take notes, when i was really immortalizing all her bloopers on a long, long list. a tantalizing sample:

MS. SAMSON: who wants to go to heaven?

everyone in class raises their hand.

MS. SAMSON: who wants to die?

siyempre, nobody raises their hand.

MS. SAMSON: (looking around solemnly, raising her arm in a matching lector gesture) ... see? NOTHING!!!

15. Most unforgettable person/s? everyone, and i mean everyone.

16. Best friend nung high school? hershel (sissy!). towards senior year it started to annoy everyone whenever we called each other sissy.

17. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic. much, much thinner. chito, the bading makeup artist at the photographer's studio, kept on raving na ang sarap ko raw make-upan kasi ang laki-laki ng mata ko. plus, he kept on marveling about how much i looked like eula valdez (before her comeback as amor powers). ironically, my sister is now the official eula lookalike. on one of her galera trips, the local tots kept running after her on the beach, screaming "amor powers! amor powers!"

18. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian? nothing. i wasn't (and still am not) a street food fan, not unless you count fishball from UP and peanuts.

19. Nakakita ka na ba ng multo sa school? oo naman. what was really creepy was when different people started seeing mumus (actually one and the same mumu) beside me in school. donna described said mumu as having long hair and wearing a white headband and white blouse.

20. Nangarag ka ba sa updating/paghahabol sa graduation? of course not. i was sooo glad to finally be getting out of there. i was the lector at the graduation mass and as expected, i was almost late. i had a blow dry and a free makeup trial at body shop (but wiped off most of the eye shadow, which was this really nice light green color that made my eyes pop), and--as my ultimate act of rebellion--wore two earrings in each ear when i knew ms. de jesus, the discipline committee head, would see me. bawal kasi eh.

21. Anong unang-una mong ginawa right after graduation? took pictures with my closest friends. thanks to the body shop and blow dry, i looked great in my graduation day pictures.

Thank God for the little things.

it was my grandmother's 91st birthday yesterday. in my mind, i believe i am not the best of granddaughters, but again i am humbled by what you can learn from someone who has over seventy years' more life experience than you.

our birthday celebration for nanay was very simple, as our home birthday "parties" tend to be: cake, ice cream, noodles ("for long life") and the requisite bottle of coke (sugar-free this year, as a rebuke to the family diabetic), plus a few odds and ends. really, really simple, but it was amazing how pleased my lola was with everything. she was really happy with the colorful muumuus (exotic word for big soft pambahay) that i got her as well as the other whatnots from my family. she immediately tried them on and started preening in front of the mirror. (seeing a 91-year old woman put on pink lipstick for her birthday party, like an excited sixteen-year old, was a wonderful moment of wrinkles-be-damned femininity. hell, i'll probably still be putting on lipstick at 91.)

then she launched into her usual drama, which is a nice drama actually, of how lucky she is to have wonderful children and wonderful apos who take care of her etc etc. there is really something amazing about families--i don't think i would be able to say that to me if i had myself for a granddaughter. and i remembered something i told someone who was once very close to me (i'll paraphrase myself here)--people whom we care deeply about have the power to make us so very happy with so little effort. we are hurt when they don't use that power, or when they don't seem to care that they have it at all.

i wonder how i could have said that without thinking of the effort it takes to make people like my lola happy. it takes so little, really--a cotton dress, a 10-baht purse from my last trip. i wonder why i don't try more often.

---

my "little things" theme continues.

i went to bed last night and woke up this morning in a terrible funk due to a looming major decision that i have to make within the next two weeks. i don't want to think about it too much (and in fact i don't have to--yet), but suffice it to say that it will be a tough choice between something i love and something i want badly. both are needs on very different levels, which makes the decision all the more difficult.

i think i had a zonked-out simangot on my face for most of the morning; darius even interrupted me in the middle of editing to ask if i was ok (which he's never done, since most of the time everyone is glued to their screens). towards lunchtime, i made a decision not to freak out over it until i'm called upon to make a decision (how's that for convoluted?).

okay, so here's the "little things" part. in the midst of my icky funk, i ran into a good number of little things that helped me wipe that simangot off my face and get on with my day.

1. rainy weather. it's not sweater weather and i usually hate commuting in the rain, but the skies were kind to me today. not a one of my toeses got wet despite the fact that i was wearing open toed sandals. besides, as leo likes to say in our do-you-miss-him brogue, "i love the weather acsh'lly... 'treminds me of ahhhrland."
2. bangkok pics. from a real camera, i mean. i got the first half of my pictures developed (the other half is still in the camera) and i love them. the outdoor photos are lovely--the grand palace pics in particular have sunny skies, brilliant colors and great detail (i sound like a kodak ad). i'm especially happy with the hot pink t-shirt i wore on our sightseeing rampage--it photographs very well. sadly, i can't say the same of my tummy. :(
3. (re-) meeting someone who remembers you well. i had lunch at jollibee on makati ave (right next to kodak and the money changer's, for today's errands) when one of the servers came up to me. it turned out that she was one of baste's kid's from the mandaluyong children's chorus who remembered meeting me over 2 years ago! she was so cheery, i couldn't help smiling as she told me that she came over to prove to her fellow servers that she really knew me, kasi ayaw nila maniwala. what was really nice about the conversation was when she told me that all of her batchmates from mcc (they graduated last year) all went on to join choirs even after mcc. she's in a spinoff choir, mandaluyong philharmonic choir and her best friend is in the UE chorale.
4. live radio streaming. how can you possibly stay mopey while listening to rrrrrradio rrrrrrevolucion, live from aruba? pass me that piña colada, please.

Yawn.

yes, that title should warn you that this post will be a yawn.

am super bangag today for reasons beyond my comprehension. i slept fairly early and had quite a light, enjoyable weekend. i haven't been this sleepy in the office since i worked for transprocure. come to think of it, i wonder how i was able to accomplish anything before lunchtime back then. parang lagi akong inaantok. since starting my new job at global sources (a month and a half ago!) i have been amazingly productive in the mornings. not today though--i have been wading sluggishly through industry news for the greater part of the morning.

on the other hand, i woke up early this weekend, contrary to my usual slothful habits: 8am (gadzooks) on saturday and before 9am on sunday. my internal body clock is now officially screwed. maybe that's why i'm so sleepy today. i need my weekend sleep to balance things out. does that make sense? i don't know. maybe i should go for more coffee.

in other news, my fantastic post about chatuchak seems to be gone from this blog. hay nako, computer ditz strikes again. ang sad naman. i'm too sleepy to rewrite it today. besides, we have a PDF deadline (that's the last stage before printing) on friday, so i should devote my day to sharing my team's stress.

zzzz.

Temple pics (real temples, not the bar)

at the reclining buddha temple



that black thing behind me and marlon is the sole of the buddha's foot, which is inlaid with mother of pearl. it made me glad that i have small white feet.



at the golden buddha temple

Yes. I know. I have a procrastination problem. Am also quite vain.

10 Years Ago, I...
1. weighed 90 pounds, more or less
2. liked to wear baby doll dresses
3. listened to Aerosmith

5 Years Ago, I...
1. was thinking about going to UP for Architecture
2. had an on-off relationship with my first boyfriend
3. held down two summer jobs (assistant teacher and production assistant)

3 Years Ago, I...
1. went to Europe with the Glee Club.
2. had the time of my life (of all places) at a choral competition (Marktoberdorf, Germany).
3. interned for Seventeen and was totally grossed out by Carlos Agassi.

A Year Ago, I...
1. got together with marlon
2. took two Philo subjects at the same time
3. learned how to play billiards

This Year, I...
1. spent over a month in Singapore
2. scampered off to Bangkok for one weekend
3. graduated with honors

Yesterday, I...
1. went to ACS practice
2. bought horse shampoo from Robin
3. wore black liquid eyeliner

Today, I...
1. arrived at the office on time (a constant struggle)
2. am waiting for Jonathan to call so i can finally have lunch
3. am doing market analyses of China and Taiwan for notebook PCs

Tomorrow I will...
1. wake up late, thank heavens
2. go to Ayie's mommy shower
3. maybe watch a movie with Jonathan and Bea (The Village!)

A break from work.

naduduling na ako sa mga export values. ito naman ngayon--another version of the self-absorbed survey i lifted from jeline's blog. this time, it comes in threes.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. i'm an independent girl.
2. i'm unabashedly kikay.
3. i started working young.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. i have sporadic moments when i become very, very, very disorganized.
2. i have absolutely no will power when it comes to food. (major evidence of this was the sinking feeling i got when andrei debuted his fabulous new body at the acs rehearsal last night. i mean, he's LITERALLY half the man he used to be. this from the man who ate, what was it, 26 sticks of isaw in one sitting. haay. dapat kaya ko rin.)
3. i'm perpetually late.

THREE THINGS U NEED EVERYDAY:
1. something sweet (and almost kind, hahaha)
2. lip gloss
3. lots of water

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS:
1. Godiva (for chocolate)
2. Levi's (for jeans)
3. Ponds (for face stuff)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
1. Into the West by Annie Lennox, from the ROTK OST
2. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmeralda, from the Kill Bill Vol. 1 OST
3. Hey Ya by Outkast

THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. my officemates
2. my ACS friends
3. people at home

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
1. play ball sports (which makes me wonder how i survived high school PE)
2. smoke (trust me. i tried once, for around twenty minutes.)
3. eat bopis

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. sleep
2. read
3. hunt for bargains

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. i want to go back to sleep
2. i want to watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
3. a hug from my boyfriend

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. music
2. teaching english
3. writing or publishing

So, apart from shopping...

... marlon and i tried to cram as much sightseeing as humanly possible into one day. our morning was spent with a pinoy tour group and a smiley, ultra-charming thai tour guide named Puki (I kid you not). apparently, puki means "fat baby" in thai. eve ensler would be disappointed to know that the young mommy-age Pinays preferred to call our tour guide ana, a derivative of her first name, which is pratchana. after introducing herself, Puki told us that the name of her tour coach driver was Supot, whereupon she was besieged with raucous laughter.

our city tour began at promptly at eight thirty and ended at around 2pm with lunch in siam center. we decided to leave our group at Wat Pho, the Reclining Buddha temple (a perfect deity for me, snorted my boyfriend) and cross the street to visit the Grand Palace instead of joining them for a leather and jewelry factory visit. we got lost inside the complex, probably got heatstroke from sightseeing in the noontime sun (plus I now have funny ballet-flat tan lines on my feet) and crawled half-dead to Chatuchak afterwards, but it was definitely worth it for a breathtakingly beautiful array of sights. besides, who wants to visit a jewelry factory if you've only got lint in your pockets?






these next two pictures are bizarre, so let me try to explain them away. there are murals all around the complex depicting... well, i'm not entirely sure what. there are a lot of figures from Indian mythology shown in painstaking detail. i believe some of them were also mean to depict virtues that should be upheld by all kings. anyway, marlon and i had fun with some of them.





10 things i loved about the grand palace:

1. it makes for wonderful, colorful pictures.
2. literally dozens of golden bells or chimes hanging from the roofs. they made beautiful music in the breeze.
3. the feel of cold marble under bare feet after five hours of walking in the sun. (one is required to take off one's footwear before entering the Emerald Buddha temple).
4. the security of believing that Buddha is protecting your favorite shoes from theft while you pay him your respects.
5. the high, deep red ceilings and sweeping sense of grandeur of the Emerald Buddha temple.
6. the massive gold stupa out front, which hurts to look at when you get too close.
7. the fact that the massive gold stupa is actually made of thousands of tiny glass-like gold tiles.
8. the van that sells cold fruit juice (passion fruit or sugarcane juice, anyone?) just outside the palace itself.
9. the fact that the palace would look hideously gaudy if you transplanted it anywhere else. it's perfect where it is.
10. the workmanship makes all my beaded thai bags/skirts/purses with tiny mirrors seem like cheap tourist crap. which, of course, they are.

my mantra for the day was, "there's so much to be said for waking up early!" to which marlon emphatically agreed. this from the couple who was late to the night safari and had to make a mad dash to see the tigers before closing time.

Now for a moment of self-absorption.

lifted from Jilen's blog:

SIX THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
[1] Falling down a staircase
[2] Getting a heel caught in a grille
[3] Being 35, looking at pictures of me now and sighing, "God, I was positively SKINNY back then…"
[4] Marlon or any of my family getting seriously hurt or sick
[5] Waking up one day to wonder why I’ve wasted my life doing something that doesn’t make me happy
[6] The fact that your nose never stops growing

SIX THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
[1] Why I have thin forearms and ankles despite my… er, voluptuousness
[2] Why Filipinos are so noisy when we get together
[3] Why guys insist on trying out every professional wrestling move they see
[4] Why little girls are sent to ballet classes
[5] Why people are still hyping up PDAs
[6] Why conya girls seem to intentionally make their voices squeaky

SIX THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN
[1] German
[2] Photography
[3] Cooking (especially Thai cuisine)
[4] Traditional Indian dance
[5] Driving
[6] Surfing

SIX THINGS YOU'RE WEARING RIGHT NOW
[1] Chunky silver cuff watch
[2] Pearl earrings
[3] My favorite jeans (Levi Superlow button-fly, indigo rinse)
[4] Ukay black top with large white collar and cuffs
[5] Black sandals with killer heels, grommets and large buckle from Patpong
[6] Shocking purple undies

SIX THINGS ON YOUR DESK
[1] A brochure for a Chinese axial fan manufacturer
[2] Starbucks tumbler with colorful stripes
[3] Ateneo planner
[4] Packet of Milo
[5] Roll of toilet paper (fresh supply from the office every month)
[6] Picture of me and Marlon in Holland Village

SIX THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
[1] Own a diamond
[2] Lose at least 10 pounds
[3] Travel, travel, travel
[4] Raise a family with Marlon (eek! Long-term relationship alert!)
[5] Become a singer
[6] Go skinny dipping

SIX BAD THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF
[1] Insecure
[2] Slothful
[3] Moody
[4] Unfocused
[5] Messy
[6] Indecisive

SIX PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
[1] Government worker caste
[2] Singers (on my dad’s side)
[3] Freedom fighters/revolutionaries (on both sides)
[4] Illegitimate children
[5] Fair skin
[6] Long-lived women

SIX THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY
[1] Eyes
[2] Hands
[3] Feet
[4] Voice
[5] Eyebrows
[6] Back

SIX THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
[1] I am allergic to dogs and cats
[2] My bedroom has one deep pink wall (just one)
[3] I am flatfooted
[4] I was named after the Wuthering Heights heroine who turns cuckoo
[5] I have two earring-holes in each ear
[6] I have never had a tooth cavity

SIX THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST
[1] Hmmm
[2] Chaka
[3] Okay
[4] Ganon?!
[5] Heh
[6] Ahhhh

SIX PLACES YOU WANT TO GO
[1] India
[2] Greece
[3] Florence
[4] Spain
[5] Scandinavia
[6] Palawan

SIX NAMES YOU GO BY
[1] Deepa
[2] Deep-deep (to my mom)
[3] Deeps (to lazy friends)
[4] Gorgeous (I KID YOU NOT—to my boyfriend)
[5] Curry (again, to my boyfriend)
[6] Rose (to Darius, my teammate who always calls me by another teammate’s name)

SIX WAYS TO PISS YOU OFF
[1] Kick a cat
[2] Blow smoke in my face
[3] Submit shoddy work
[4] Insult or hurt my family
[5] Make a Bumbay joke in my presence
[6] Be pretentious

SIX PEOPLE YOU WANT TO MEET
[1] My cousin Muniya
[2] Jude Law (drool drool)
[3] Neil Gaiman
[4] Eric Whitacre
[5] Jennifer Connelly
[6] Christian Bale

SIX WAYS TO MAKE YOU SMILE
[1] Present me with a box of Godivas
[2] Present me with any form of dark chocolate
[3] An "ang ganda nitong piyesa na ‘to!!!" moment
[4] Ketchup from McDonalds
[5] New shoes
[6] Compliments

SIX THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY
[1] Realizing that I miss my boyfriend
[2] Dido’s "Thank You"—it makes me realize that I miss my boyfriend
[3] Thinking about death
[4] Sad movies
[5] Getting angry
[6] When other ACS girls start to cry

SIX PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT A LOT
[1] Mom
[2] Ate
[3] Marlon
[4] Nanay
[5] Tita
[6] Dima

hello. my acs friends inspired me to pick up the pieces of my blogging and try, try again. (flashback to around a dozen unfilled diaries sitting in various boxes at home.) i mean, if sir jojo can blog, so can i.

blog regularly, i mean.

right.