may ann, a dear dear friend from glee club, has been in a long-distance relationship for (at last count) eight years. the last time i saw may was during bamboo organ last year. i asked her how she and her boyfriend were doing, and how long it had been since they had last seen each other. "two years," she said, giggling.
another mayann, this time an officemate, has just come back from a month-long supervacation in mindoro. during a quick chat in the ladies' room, i gushed over her tan and how fantastic her long vacation must have been. "todo honeymoon ka ha!" i said. "oo nga," she sighed, "pero wala na ulit, nakaalis na."
then i asked her how often she and her boyfriend, who's based in goa, see each other. "yearly," she said matter-of-factly. "ang lungkot ano?"
so, what i want to know is: how do these women do it?
and here's another: can i do it? i'm only asking because now i know what "it" is and how hard "it" is, which i didn't know when we first decided to go for "it".
another thing i want to know is: does there exist a happy balance between the present and the future? or must every decision we make necessarily be a choice for one over the other?
help me.
Ouch.
ReplyDeleteI've been in one for 6 years and when people ask me, I'm always so matter-of-fact or even humorous. I think it's because it's a not so normal setup and you assume people will think you're crazy so you just beat them to it. "Its so crazy I know but yeah, I havne't seen him in 2 years."
As to your other questions (How do people do it, Is there a happy balance..), I still have no idea. - Mika
hey mika! would you mind terribly if i asked for your email address? i'm rather lost and need to talk/listen to someone who is still in (read: has not ended, is not bitter about) a long-distance relationship. i'm thinking a lot of things through and could sure use a sounding board.
ReplyDeletethanks for posting btw :-)
My sister (she was Euro 2004 until she migrated) has been in a long-distance relationship for two years now. I don't know how she does it; a three-week separation made me all antsy as it was...
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you.
ei deepa,
ReplyDeletefirst of, let's state the obvious. long distance relationship is hard. you really have to exert a lot of effort and you should be prepared at the same time to not expect anything in return when you give such effort. not unless both of you are willing to make sacrifices, and not unless you have this tremendous love for each other will it only work. i've been through a long distance relationship and it sucked big time. but then again, like you, i have known quite a number of couples who have survived a long distance relationship. the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" rang true to their ears. so i guess it's really up to the people involve, how committed you are to your boyfriend and how committed he is to you.
the answers you are looking for, only you can answer. =)
if you love the person that much, go for it. hang in there. it might be worth the wait. ;-)
if you feel like you are being robbed of a better life with another and are bombarded with doubts, it's probably best that you go talk with him.
hope this helped somehow.
Definitely. Sometimes I need to read about other people going through it as well. It's gossamer @ gmail dot com - Mika :)
ReplyDelete