warning: i'm trying to process something at the moment, so i might just end up rambling.
i actually wanted to write about work in the same post as one of my more memorable hong kong moments -- may something in common kasi sila. (or who knows, i might still. hmm.) but i think i'm too excited about my newest assignment to wait any longer.
the telltale sign of an obsession in the offing: i invested over a grand on new books with my latest project in mind, all the while mumbling to myself that i have reimbursible allowance for (supposedly) work-related expenses. i might have used work as an excuse to buy myself these gorgeous books, since i've actually been interested in klimt and mucha, and in art nouveau, for the longest time. i even had an art nouveau stained glass coloring book when i was in grade school.
so i was delighted when charlie (my partner at work) told me he'd been eyeing this style for our new baby. he'd been inspired by the giant mucha stickers on the glass walls of our pantry. sometimes i really love my office -- especially when the things put in it to inspire you actually work!
or maybe i bought the books to make me feel better about landing this project.
see, this particular account has had practically everyone in my unit drooling for over a year -- way before i started working here. it's a dream project -- big budget, great concept, super-organized and dynamic client. when i saw the material the production team was drawing inspiration from, i was hooked too.
i didn't keep the fact that i wanted the project a secret. none of us did except, ironically, the very team assigned to the account. one of the people on that team, a good friend of mine, was so deadma (or was it nega?) that every time we spoke about the project i got the feeling she didn't give a rat's ass about it.
as they say, be careful what you wish for -- it might come true. by some twist of fate my boss decided to yank out the project from under that team's nose, and tossed it into my and charlie's laps, triggering a rigodon of accounts within my unit. to my surprise (and horror), my friend on the other team was crushed when my boss broke the news to her. and so friday night, guilt was forcing me thisclose to giving up the account.
somehow i kept on thinking of my major takeaway from my factory days, and (ugh i hate to admit it) from the big bald man. he told me that "typical filipino employees" don't speak up about how they feel about work (out of, i guess, hiya). they somehow expect their bosses to read their minds, and develop all this angst when their concerns aren't addressed or their sentiments taken into account. he also told me that he hadn't expected i would be that way.
and somehow, i guess i resolved back then to prove that i wasn't -- that i didn't want to be -- that "typical filipino employee" he took me for. so i've never had a problem speaking up about what i think at work, whether it's dissatisfaction or confusion or enthusiasm or whatnot. so much so that i get frustrated when i see officemates stuck in that "typical filipino employee" mindset. my friend is one of those people i constantly nag to get out of that frame of mind.
was i an evil person? pinulitika ko ba ito? did i inadvertently manipulate a person or situation to get what i wanted? should i have just shut up about the project and not let anyone know what i felt about it (eh hindi nga ako ganun eh.) or should the team in question just have shown a leetle more enthusiasm for the project?
maybe i bought the books to make myself feel better, and to revive some of the original enthusiasm for the project that was dampened by guilt. and maybe i bought them to assert my ownership too. the account is my responsibility now and i'm going to give it my best shot, guilt or no guilt. good luck to me -- sana hindi ako masyadong ma-obsess, at sana lang may kaibigan pa kami ni charlie pagkatapos nito. haha.
random rant: it's nine in the morning on a monday and the resident office d.o.m. is playingmakeout music f*ck me-i'm-high-on-ecstasy music trance. isn't it a tad bit early to be thinking about getting sweaty with someone half your age?
i actually wanted to write about work in the same post as one of my more memorable hong kong moments -- may something in common kasi sila. (or who knows, i might still. hmm.) but i think i'm too excited about my newest assignment to wait any longer.
the telltale sign of an obsession in the offing: i invested over a grand on new books with my latest project in mind, all the while mumbling to myself that i have reimbursible allowance for (supposedly) work-related expenses. i might have used work as an excuse to buy myself these gorgeous books, since i've actually been interested in klimt and mucha, and in art nouveau, for the longest time. i even had an art nouveau stained glass coloring book when i was in grade school.so i was delighted when charlie (my partner at work) told me he'd been eyeing this style for our new baby. he'd been inspired by the giant mucha stickers on the glass walls of our pantry. sometimes i really love my office -- especially when the things put in it to inspire you actually work!
or maybe i bought the books to make me feel better about landing this project.
see, this particular account has had practically everyone in my unit drooling for over a year -- way before i started working here. it's a dream project -- big budget, great concept, super-organized and dynamic client. when i saw the material the production team was drawing inspiration from, i was hooked too.
i didn't keep the fact that i wanted the project a secret. none of us did except, ironically, the very team assigned to the account. one of the people on that team, a good friend of mine, was so deadma (or was it nega?) that every time we spoke about the project i got the feeling she didn't give a rat's ass about it.
as they say, be careful what you wish for -- it might come true. by some twist of fate my boss decided to yank out the project from under that team's nose, and tossed it into my and charlie's laps, triggering a rigodon of accounts within my unit. to my surprise (and horror), my friend on the other team was crushed when my boss broke the news to her. and so friday night, guilt was forcing me thisclose to giving up the account.
somehow i kept on thinking of my major takeaway from my factory days, and (ugh i hate to admit it) from the big bald man. he told me that "typical filipino employees" don't speak up about how they feel about work (out of, i guess, hiya). they somehow expect their bosses to read their minds, and develop all this angst when their concerns aren't addressed or their sentiments taken into account. he also told me that he hadn't expected i would be that way.
and somehow, i guess i resolved back then to prove that i wasn't -- that i didn't want to be -- that "typical filipino employee" he took me for. so i've never had a problem speaking up about what i think at work, whether it's dissatisfaction or confusion or enthusiasm or whatnot. so much so that i get frustrated when i see officemates stuck in that "typical filipino employee" mindset. my friend is one of those people i constantly nag to get out of that frame of mind.
was i an evil person? pinulitika ko ba ito? did i inadvertently manipulate a person or situation to get what i wanted? should i have just shut up about the project and not let anyone know what i felt about it (eh hindi nga ako ganun eh.) or should the team in question just have shown a leetle more enthusiasm for the project?
maybe i bought the books to make myself feel better, and to revive some of the original enthusiasm for the project that was dampened by guilt. and maybe i bought them to assert my ownership too. the account is my responsibility now and i'm going to give it my best shot, guilt or no guilt. good luck to me -- sana hindi ako masyadong ma-obsess, at sana lang may kaibigan pa kami ni charlie pagkatapos nito. haha.
random rant: it's nine in the morning on a monday and the resident office d.o.m. is playing
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