Tuesday, December 29
Two years
How has the second year been different from the first? In many little insignificant-yet-significant ways.
We have more things, more clothes, a new bookshelf by the entryway and new upholstery in the dining room. We color our hair less. Marlon weighs less (and dresses better, if you ask me). We switched bed sides. We fight much, much less than we did in our first year, despite me being somewhat less eager to please and prove myself as a wife. In fact, I don't remember a single fight we had this year.
We are beginning to see our dreams slowly being fleshed out into reality. We have savings (!) and earn more as a unit. We've rented out our spare room. We don't spend a bomb on groceries anymore. We do Iyengar yoga for beginners on Monday evenings. Actually, we exercise together, period. (Although we swim less often.) We cook together less often, but we still do sometimes, which I find extremely therapeutic and enjoyable. We are supposed to be closer to having a baby, but we keep moving the "deadline."
I would like to be trite and cutesy and say that the only things that haven't changed are the love and happiness of being married to my husband. But that wouldn't be true, because they have -- they've grown greater and deeper, and have simply become, in a word, more.
Happy second anniversary, sweetie. I love you!
Monday, December 28
C is for Christmas
a) Young, up-and-coming
b) Classic and sophisticated
c) Mature, chic and understated
Actually, to be precise, C was a B.V.
Ho ho ho
Mine was full of laughter (thanks to the ACS part and my first Sesqui Tandres gathering ever!), sleep (thanks to the cold, lulling breezes of Sta. Rosa, Laguna!), gifts (thanks to my thoughtful loved ones)... and pork!
Yes, pork. I think I've consumed more porcine delights this weekend than I have in the last six months. But how could I resist the spicy crunch of chicharon on Christmas Eve and the sodium-laden cured goodness of our family fave, Majestic Ham? Forget Purefoods Fiesta Ham -- in the Paul household, Majestic is the real star of the Noche Buena feast!
Speaking of gifts, Marlon opened his last Christmas gift from me when we got home from the airport last night. I was worried that it might turn out to be a cop-out (cue the wek-wek-wek sound effect) but he really loved it! I got him a Zwilling J.A. Henckels set of Four-Star kitchen knives. :) He was so pleased with it that he straightaway tossed his old Ikea knife block and began paring an apple... even if it was past midnight and neither of us was hungry.
I also got him the "Ondoy" series of paintings by Lotsu Manes from West Gallery, which we had been eyeing a few months ago. I thought it was also a perfect gift for our second anniversary, since the subjects of the series came in twos.
I bought the paintings without having seen the actual canvases, but when Marlon unwrapped them in Manila I was happy to discover that they looked even more wonderful then they did online. Plus, Sol from West Gallery wrapped them really well, and didn't even charge me a delivery fee! :)
Sadly, though, the holidays are over for me (way too soon!) and I'm back in the office. It feels awful to be back here while everyone is on holiday. There are a grand total of three people here and even my boss isn't here though I didn't hear anything about him going on leave today!
Good thing I have some holiday souvenirs with me -- three unwanted pounds, a mild case of gout in my finger joints and a box of coffee butterscotch squares from Conti's in the fridge (which got squashed in the plane so now it's a giant wonky slab of pastry!).
Oh and not to mention my absolute favorite gift this year... from Marlon of course. More later ;)
Sunday, December 20
Trial run
This evening Marlon went for an hour-long, 4 to 5km walk around Bishan Park, a very nice open space that's roughly five to ten minutes' drive from our house. We walked with Shivaani, Marlon's closest friend here in Singapore who's returning to India for good tomorrow evening. They used to walk a lot together when Marlon was still living by itself, so it was a last hurrah of sorts, a farewell to a favorite pastime.
Me? I've never liked walking, so whenever Marlon would suggest we go for a walk, I would always combat his enthusiasm with my inertia. Eventually he stopped asking. But tonight's walk was really nice -- so nice, in fact, that I wondered why I don't walk more often.
What made it so nice: the weather has been rather un-Singaporean as of late -- cool and breezy instead of hot and humid, proper December weather as it should be. The park was quiet and peaceful, with clearly marked, well-paved walking trails. Just talking along the trail was really quite relaxing. And the bulk in my tummy (composed of the risotto I had for dinner) disappeared quickly, leaving me with a surprisingly flat stomach so soon after eating.
This might very well become a regular thing. Lately I've been thinking of giving up muay thai because I've become so disconcerted with how wide my shoulders and back have become. It's all the upper-body training: push-ups and punching. I look like a wrestler :-P which is not good if you're a 5 foot 1 inch female. I've actually even started thinking about taking up running, which seems to be the new yoga, and which I dislike even more than walking.
Hmmm. This means I should probably give my Divisoria-bought, porma-only Nikes a rest and get some real walking shoes. After Christmas perhaps...
Saturday, December 19
Therapy
- Marlon and his gift guessing game (for Christmas, this time). He all but gave it away to make sure he got something that he would not regret giving me. I'm excited!
- Downtime chats with office colleagues (with topics such as the best time to shop at Cash Converters for really cheap designer coffee machines).
- Shopping for gifts (and nicking an item for myself here and there).
- Irish cream hot chocolate and Jackson Five Christmas carols while wrapping gifts in bright snowman-printed red paper, and gold paper with holiday greetings stamped in flowery script.
- Gray, rainy weather that seems perfect for Christmas.
- The prospect of home in a few days.
- Facebook - no Farmville or Mafia wars for me, but just looking up friends to see what they're up to. Looking at babies and weddings is fun.
- Very friendly talents who have been fun to work with during wardrobe fittings.
- Forever 21 opening up a four-story emporium five minutes from the office! I have yet to go shopping for myself, but I've sussed out the goods with some wardrobe shopping for a shoot.
- Twinkling lights reflecting off red and gold ornaments off the tree.
- New prospects.
- Marlon's Christmas bonus!
- Sleeping late on a Saturday morning after a long work week.
- Morning hugs from my husband.
- Rogue's warm bulk curled up in between my feet at night, and her paws on my stomach in the morning
- Crispy adobo flakes for brunch. Mmmm.
- Realizing that work, despite its enormity, is not everything -- and that I'm really still very lucky.
- Realizing that despite the number of people I've heard complaining about how stressful the holidays are -- I'm not one of them, and the holidays are still fun!
Sunday, December 13
Loved
The printer was fucking up big time, and I had to print more than one set several times over. I was feeling short-tempered and stressed and utterly disgruntled at having to spend a perfectly lovely weekend afternoon in the office.
Then I looked over behind my Mac monitor to see my husband sitting in one of the office chairs, engrossed in a game on his phone. He looked up and smiled at me.
Then I remembered that I was blessed with a best friend and wonderful partner who willingly, without complaint, kept me company in the dull, stressful, even pointless moments of my day-to-day life.
Then I felt loved -- and Saturday afternoon at the office was transformed.
Tuesday, December 8
Wait wait wait
Saturday, December 5
Criteria
Wednesday, December 2
Multiple choice
Tuesday, December 1
Home again
- My sister's new house in Sta. Rosa, Laguna! Congratulations Ate! It has a beautiful view of Mount Makiling from the master bedroom, which my mom loves -- she grew up in Laguna where Mariang Makiling was a regular sight. The house is airy and bright, blown through by strong, cool December breezes that just filled me with Christmas kilig. It's quiet and open and seems like it's in the middle of nowhere but is actually in a self-sufficient community! I even saw Angelica Panganiban and Derek Ramsey out for a stroll at the local mall. O ha.
- Spending time with family. Luckily my sister was in town as well for a wedding. Although we just less than one full day together, it was enough for a midnight snack and chat, a long drive to Tagaytay, and lunch at Hawaiian Barbeque at the Boutique Hotel. I also fulfilled my long-stifled cravings for Pancake House's choc-chip pancakes and Razon's "minimalist" halo-halo over lunch with my mom when I arrived. Happiness!
- Wielding the power of the Singapore dollar. How lovely to shop and eat in Makati in PHP when you're earning in SGD! Suddenly my lust for Arnel Papa's jewelry didn't seem like such an extravagant fantasy (not that I bought anything, but it's nice to know it won't give Marlon a heart attack). Shopping at my new favorite store Bleach Catastrophe (na akala ko pang-Chuvaness lang) seemed like a bargain compared to shopping at Topshop. A three-course dinner for three at Greenbelt 5 is cheaper than lunch at the ubiquitous Japanese fast food chain Sakae Sushi, or my favorite comparison for an overpriced meal, NYDC. And the equivalent of my bags of Christmas tree trimmings from Landmark? Two taxi rides from my house to the office. Sigh.
- Checking into the Manila Pen! Christmas at the Pen is filled with so many happy memories with the Glee Club. (Yes, even the disastrous years can now said to be happy.) Actually, the Pen is filled with so many happy memories, period. I especially love what they've done to the restaurant where we have the breakfast buffet, now called Escolta.
- Catching up with friends. I caught up to post-rehearsals coffee with ACS after racing straight to Aui's house from the airport. I just needed that balahuric laughter! I was also grateful to Pia for braving an epic commute from Magallanes to have dinner with me and Marlon in Greenbelt. And I got to have lunch with dear, dear Tria, who blessed me with the gift of her real estate broker -- a soothing balm after meeting the broker from hell. More on which later.
- Tagaytay. Period. I will never be tired of that view, and of the carefree sense of freedom driving up there gives you. And we now live less than 30 minutes away!
Wednesday, November 25
What's missing, part 2
Yes, I realize I could be more articulate but I'm writing on the fly. It's been a packed few days. Late Sunday night and most of Monday was mental and emotional bedlam; afterwards, thankfully, I slipped into relief and reminiscence.
Whereupon I found that it is far better to be in the grip of intense nostalgia than of utter panic.
Friday, November 20
On buying art
Thursday, November 19
Pamosong tsansa
I can't claim to be a grammar nazi when it comes to the Filipino language the way I am when it comes to English, but I hate, hate, hate it when native writers or speakers use Filipinized English words for which proper Filipino words actually exist.
Prime example: using pamoso for famous. Showbiz talk show hosts and columnists who broadcast and write entirely in the native language always pull this ugly rabbit out of the proverbial buri hat. Does pamoso actually exist in the Filipino grammar? If it does, aren't there less awkward-sounding words to convey fame? How about kilala? Tanyag? Sikat?
Another one which crops up a lot on daytime TV is tsansa (chansa), or chance. Cue the PCSO announcements and low-budget giveaway TVCs: "May tsansa kang manalo ng limpak-limpak na salapi!" I even recall this specific phrase from a TVC (but forget the brand): "Mas maraming tiket, mas maraming tsansa!" Meron ba talagang salitang tsansa? Wouldn't it be better to say pagkakataon, or even the Hispanic oportunidad?
Can you think of any others? Does this bother you too or ako lang ba ang affected masyado?
Wednesday, November 18
What's missing
Tuesday, November 17
At home
I am at home with my husband, on an uncharacteristically chilly night. It was sunny all day, the only spot of sunshine in two straight weeks of rain, chill and gloom. I was half-expecting the anvil to drop, in the form of a thunderclap or a sudden burst of clouds. And at half-past six, it did.
That sudden, thunderous downpour of rain rang in my head like the dismissal bell on a school day. I quit my work and immediately dropped my good intention of going to muay thai. I rang up my husband and five minutes later, I was in a cab picking him up from the covered walkway at the Somerset station. We cuddled all the way home. Rain pouring down the windows and a certain nip in the air can do that to you.
And now I’m sitting at the dining table in a pair of velour pajamas, with a hot thick mug of Swiss Miss Dark Chocolate beside me. In front of me are the dining room windows, where I can see a reflection of the paper lamp in the living room. Behind the soft yellow glow of the lamp, the shadowy curve of Marlon’s head as he reads a comic book on the day bed. One of the things I love about us is how we can just share space, each doing his or her own thing, not talking to each other or not even in the same room, yet still be completely together.
I prepared a cup of tea for him, a blend of green tea and mint tea in a rather precious hand-sewn, loosely-woven cotton tea bag that I filched from the hotel room at the Fullerton Hotel, where we celebrated my birthday weekend three weeks ago. I added a dollop of honey at his request, and put the mug in his hands with a kiss. Such are the little pleasures of being a wife.
The cat is padding around in the shadows of a room whose door has been left ajar. She does so in silence, which I’ve come to equate with contentment. Now and then the tiny silver bell on her collar tinkles as she moves her head in little bursts of curiosity or restlessness, but on the whole she is quiet and satisfied to have us home, be well fed and to have had her early evening dose of affection.
There is nothing to think about tonight but how to while away the time until eleven or son, when we finally turn in for the night. The choice is a lazily decadent one – do I write or draw or watch television or read one of my many books that are waiting to be read? The luxury of free time is one that I enjoy so much more because of the number of interests I have, although it does get raucous in my head when all of my interests simultaneously yammer and complain that they are starved for attention.
Tonight I choose to write. Write purely for myself, with no deadlines except the very end of this blank page. Write purely for fun, not to convince or sell or illustrate or anything like that. If I am writing to convince anyone, it is myself – to prove to myself that I can still fill an entire page purely for the pleasure of it, that I still have “it”, whatever “it” is.
And it is a good choice. Even better, I think, than deciding to leave work the very moment the rain first began to fall.
Monday, November 16
Ignorance is bliss
Thursday, November 12
The clock is ticking
Wednesday, November 11
At eto pa pala...
Muni-muni sa trabaho
Sunday, November 1
28
Tuesday, October 20
Temporary insanity
Friday, October 16
Mystery solved!
Tuesday, October 13
Paper pretties
Sunday, October 11
Wanted
and there was a gleefully cryptic, delightfully cheesy message on the back.
Back to the drawing board
Salpicao Saturday!
a sumptuous sign of good things to come was the juicy, beautifully marbled cut of australian tenderloin we found at the new, fancy-shmancy grocery on the fourth floor of ion orchard. when i say fancy, i mean fancy -- they had shelves dedicated to imports from dean & deluca, fauchon and hediard!
now marlon is the carnivore in this family (meat just grosses me out), but i had a months-long craving for salpicao that was tearing at me to be fulfilled. and with the nearest dulcinea a plane ride away, i was actually desperate enough to learn how to cook the damned dish myself. so armed with a shockingly easy recipe from market manila, i did!
sitting down to our salpicao lunch, marlon kept thanking me for craving for salpicao so obsessively (beef rarely makes an appearance in our weekly grocery list). i was astounded at how something i cooked turned out so perfectly! my kapraningan usually drives me to keep to recipes with military discipline, but not so with this salpicao. it was my first time to cook completely by feel... no teaspoons, measuring cups, nothing! my kitchen confidence skyrocketed with every bite.
salt-and-garlic cravings satisfied and carnivorous husband happily stuffed, i finally sat down to do the ultra-babaw, mindlessly kikay things i had been itching to do for weeks.
Tuesday, October 6
Clues blues
Monday, October 5
Moving on
Monday, September 28
Oh, Ondoy
before i left for f1 rocks at 4 pm, i wondered briefly whether i should call mom and find out if she was ok. mandaluyong is notorious for flooding, particularly near city hall. we used to live a street away from city hall, the lowest point in town, and moved out right after suffering through a single rainy season with waist-deep floods. i brushed off the thought, thinking that the area we live in now has never flooded, ever.
at 2am, after the (incidentally, phenomenal) BEP and beyonce shows, i was cooling down with a late dinner and cold drinks with marlon at chijmes when i received a text from my sister. our house was flooded up to sink (thigh) level, the entire sala was afloat, and the ref was submerged.
TOTAL SHOCK. that meant three women (my mom, tita raquel and our maid rosiele) and FIVE dogs were all upstairs. thoughts whirled in my head (was the roof dripping as well? did they have food and water? would all the sockets downstairs get wrecked? did they manage to bring up any of the electronics?) as i realized there was nothing i could do but call the next morning. the only consolation i could think of was that my sister had sold the car after we moved abroad, otherwise it would have been heartbreaking to see it wrecked in the flood
the morning after
i called mom on sunday morning. i knew she would be okay, maybe stressed out and tired at most, but i had to talk to her just to be sure. i caught her just as the flood waters had subsided and she was surveying the extent of the damage. she told me how difficult it was to try and save as much as they could, just her and the maid. other houses in the compound have men in the house and more people in the household, so they got more things done. "hindi na ako nagpatulong," she said. "pag ganyan, talagang kanya-kanya na."
still, i could hear the relief in her voice when she told me that our house was still one of the cleanest and least damaged in the compound. some of the neighbors had to abandon their houses. floods were higher in the lower-situated houses. their cars were damaged. the marketplace nearby had chest-deep floods.
because she's moving out of the house in october, mom had books, clothes and other things packed in boxes and stored on the first floor. all the boxes melted away, leaving our things in a soggy and dirty mess. my heart sank thinking about how much effort mom put into packing; now she has to do everything all over again.
still, i'm just thankful she's ok.
heartbreaking, heartening
watching the videos and seeing the pictures posted on facebook, youtube and twitter has left me with a mixed bag of emotions.
i am proud to see the strength of fortunate filipinos who are pulling together to organize rescue and relief operations. i saw so many people who felt it was unacceptable to just watch the typhoon take its toll. people literally could not rest until they found a way to help.
i am incensed at the ineptitude of the government. the strength, responsiveness, compassion and capability of the private sector only highlights their selfishness and irresponsibility. if public funds were properly channeled and used, would our city crumble so easily? would we have been better equipped to rescue people?
i am hoping against hope. will something good come out of this? will we -- both the people and the government -- learn something this time around? will we take action to make sure this never happens again? i can only think of the numerous dikes and clearly marked escape routes i saw in phuket post-tsunami, and hope someone, anyone, comes up with a plan for the future.
i am heartbroken by so many images. the gleaming white walls of a friend's newly finished dream home, turned to mud. her shiny new grand piano sinking into brown waters. a dog found drowned in a cage. smashed cars piled up on top of each other in ways i didn't even think possible. i don't even want to think about the dead bodies captured by cameramen roving cainta and marikina.
i am amazed by the humor and resilience of filipinos, who can smile, laugh and joke while neck-deep in water.
i am suddenly uncertain about my future, our future in manila. we had planned to finally put down the first payment for a lot in a friend's subdivision this december. we were even thinking of paying for the lot in full after getting our christmas bonuses. but after seeing photos of all the houses in the area submerged up to the first floor, now we are not so sure.
i am thankful my family is alright, and that we have extra cash to send mom for repairs and things that need to be replaced. we even have a little left over to send to the red cross -- just because my family isn't the only one that's been affected.
i am afraid for the storm that is supposed to hit manila this wednesday and thursday. i want my mom to check into a hotel, but she doesn't want to leave the dogs.
i am praying. still.
Saturday, September 26
Clueless
Thursday, August 27
Surreal
my mind is already flying off ahead of me. i want to go home and prepare for the trip: read my time out guidebook, choose a restaurant and make reservations for the one special (read: expensive) dinner that we promised to treat ourselves to, and omg WAX AND EPILATE! and generally rest up before we begin tomorrow's mad amazing race-ish dash to tor's wedding in manhattan on saturday morning.
but there are still presentations to do, meetings to go to and interns to brief. and if you knew how detailed their briefings have to be, just so they don't mess up casting while i'm gone, maloloka kayo.
as in, yung isa sa kanila nagreklamo na kaya daw siya nahihirapan mag-facilitate ng auditions ay dahil simula nang mag-kolehiyo siya, hindi na raw siya masyadong nag-iingles. ANO BA! e yung alipores ko ngang koreana hindi nagdadahilan ng ganyan! kaya ginawan ko siya ng powerpoint na babasahin na lang ng mga mow-thel bago sila um-emote para hindi na siya kailangang magsalita.
tapos dahil hindi siya makaisip ng anong papagawin niya sa mga mow-thel (kahit na nandun naman sa harap niya yung storyboard), ginawan ko siya ng iskrip na babasahin na lang niya sa mga mudel para mapa-emote sila. mabait naman ang batang ito, pero JOSKODUDAY KAILANGAN DE KUTSARA LAHAT!
and to top it all off, marlon is "working from home" today and isn't going to work tomorrow. one of my last glimpses of him before i left this morning was surrounded by pillows, bundled up in a comforter, reading eragon. kakainez! i wanted to throttle him.
ok i shall now reel in my altapresyon. eyes on the prize! i'm leaving tomorrow and that's what matters!
Saturday, August 22
A little luho goes a long way
Sunday, August 16
Hubby's home
Saturday, August 15
Soothe me
Seal Lullaby by Rudyard KiplingOh! hush thee, my baby, the night is behind us
And black are the waters that sparkled so green.
The moon, O'er the combers, looks downward to find us
At rest in the hollows that rustle between.
Where billow meets billow, there soft be thy pillow.
Oh, weary wee flipperling, curl at thy ease!
The storm shall not wake thee, no shark overtake thee
Asleep in the arms of slow-swinging seas.
Wednesday, August 12
Yo MC MC
i can't bring myself to use this turn of phrase out loud. i've only used "MC" in texts to my boss. and it's always along the lines of "the doctor gave me a 2-day MC." or to our office manager, when turning over said slip of paper "here's my MC, jane." this is like that whole regime/regimen debacle. i just won't give in.
apart from its vulnerability to grammatical abuse, the other annoying thing about MCs is that it's standard policy for local companies to require one every single time you go on sick leave... even if it's just for one day. forget being sick for three days before having to traipse to the doctor for an MC -- that's sooo third world.
so it's day 2 of my SICK LEAVE, and my 2-day MC expires today. the fever has gone down, although i'm still woozy from the medicines and the antibiotics are drying my throat so i sound uncannily like inday badiday. tomorrow i will be back at work bright and early at 9, and my boss tells me there's tons of work waiting to welcome me back. apparently projects with rush deadlines have been flooding in like crazy. i wonder if it has occurred to anyone to turn anything down considering there are only four designers working on everything and 2 production people (me plus the intern).
looks like i'm really going to deserve that new york trip by the time these next two weeks are over. for now, i'm going to take advantage of the rest, because i know i'll be expected to be fully functioning, as if i never got sick, ready to attack my share of the workload the minute i step back into the office. don't you just love it.