Things that make you go "hmmm"

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now this didn't make me go "hmmm". more like "hmmmph."

Antisocial vampires are addicted to excitement. They’re called antisocial vampires not because they don’t like parties, but because they’re heedless of social rules. These vampires love parties. They also love sex, drugs, rock n’ roll, and anything else stimulating. They hate boredom worse than a stake through the heart. All they want out of life is a good time, a little action, and immediate gratification of their every desire.

Of all the vampires, Antisocials are the sexiest, the most exciting, and the most fun to be around. People take to them easily and quickly, and just as quickly get taken. Aside from momentary fun, these vampires don’t have much to give back. Ah, but those moments!

-- From "Emotional Vampires", by Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.

sound like anyone you know? 'cause it sure as hell sounds like someone i know.

okay, okay, i'll quit it with the self-help books/muni-muni already. it's back to the behemoth tomorrow, anyway.

He's just not that into you

last weekend, i picked up a book i found in my sister’s bedroom called “he’s just not that into you.” fans of sex and the city will remember this simple, wise and extremely liberating axiom from one of the later episodes in the series.

“he’s just not that into you” claims to be the no-excuses guide to understanding men, the premise being that we women just love to make excuses for anomalous guy behavior (he’s afraid of intimacy, he’s just really busy, he’s rebounding, he’s not ready for commitment, he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship) when it can all be explained in one neat sentence.

that’s right. he’s just not that into you.

because a guy who really is into you will jump through hoops to get your number, spend time with you, and make you happy. i used to hear this a lot from my mom, but it only became utterly real to me when i met marlon. (insert “awwwww” here.)

some choice passages from the book:

• if he’s not calling you, you’re not on his mind. you deserve a f*cking phone call.
• there’s a guy out there who will want to tell the whole world that he’s your boyfriend. quit goofing around and go find him.
• if you really love someone, you want to do things to make them happy.
• true love cures commitment-phobia. [very true, says the reformed commitment phobe.]
• beware the word “friend.” it can often be used by men or the women who love them to excuse the most un-friendly behavior [to me, this reads ‘post-breakup anomalies that happen under the convenient banner of “let’s still hang out together ‘cause we’re friends now”.’ oh, what suckers we women can be!]. personally, when i’m picking friends, i like the ones that don’t make me cry myself to sleep.

i'd been feeling inexplicably warm and fuzzy towards my ex lately, and had even been thinking of sending him a “hey let’s be friends and get together, i’ve been wondering how you are” text. after reading this book, i remember why he’s no longer part of my life, and why i only started really getting over him when i realized that i had so many reasons to be glad that we were indeed over.

i wish greg behrendt and liz tuccillo, the authors, had written their book much earlier, so i could have discovered it when i was much younger and so into making excuses for my ex’s behavior. back then, neneng-me didn’t have the guts to call a spade a spade, and neither did he. (no, this is not a booty call. i just want to hang out with you. yeah, yeah, yeah.)

the great thing about this book is that it tells you (in sharp, direct, and very un-self helpy language) to do just that. it also tells women that guys can and do totally fall all over themselves to be with/treat well a girl that they’re really into. (g, our token regular male, is most welcome to verify this. pressure pressure! haha.) most important of all, it tells women that we deserve such a guy, and we can’t find him until we quit making excuses for this half-baked relationship that we’re still in.

highly recommended for singletons. and you committed people might as well get it too, because you’ll feel so absolutely wonderful that you’ve found that fabulous person the authors promise is out there, somewhere, for each one of us – the antithesis to the person you so stupidly made all those excuses for, once upon a time.

--

what can i say, j? i guess great minds do think alike! ;-)

Umm, okay

finally been to embassy. except for the fact that it's fun to dress up for and the djs have a big space to horse around in, i don't see what the fuss is about. but we (richie and tatat, who seems quite the party girl in this blurry photo) had an okay time, i guess.

rich was looking for hip-hop, and i was with him on that. i find hip-hop more fun to dance to. "grooving" (holding a beer bottle, balancing on stiletto heels and moving ever so slightly to avoid ruining your hair, all while trying to look attractive) seems to have a severely limited fun spectrum.

embassy apparently does hip-hop on wednesdays, but i don't know. i'm not exactly raring to go back.

i suddenly remembered high school, the peak of my brief clubbing career. the places to be were euphoria, hip-hop nights at mars, and hard rock cafe -- dead, dead, dead. also got excited about india in december. people in bollywood-movie party scenes always look so happy and bouncy, totally unself-conscious.

i think i'm ready for some bhangra now.

--

yay, the starstruck launch is over. i can eat normally again. had a marathon interview session with this year's batch of artista hopefuls (yes, that's the term i actually use in my copy), and i already have my bets. there's a cute igorot (yes, you read that right) with a strong machete factor. syet, sana ipagsuot siya ng bahag. gah what am i saying? he's barely legal.

watch ha? sunday to friday at around 930pm. channel 7, siyempre.

--

i feel like i have to say something about it (not embassy, not starstruck), so i will.

dammit.

end of cryptic post.

Girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch

there's nothing like a round of beers and some very dear college friends (your rumored lesbian lover and shared manwhore, respectively) to remind you why things turned out the way they did. for better or for worse.

and to make you realize that some things will simply compel you to roll out the welcome mat, even if you fully intended not to...

... and that being able to work until 1030pm, drink until 430am, wake up for work at 730am and arrive one hour before the official punch-in (with alcohol still percolating in your system) makes you really glad to be in your twenties.

Hey there, shopping lover

hey there, shopping lover
at p-x-club you'll discover
a __________ in store for you (does anyone remember this part?)
you won't believe it's true

goodness. thinking of a title for today's post brought me back momentarily to back in the day when "px goods" were such a big thing, and you heard this annoying jingle on the radio all the time (followed by joaqui trillo's endorsement spiel. what was a sportscaster doing endorsing a shopping club anyway?). and you had to troop all the way to subic or clark to get things like clairol herbal essences shampoo. now you can get "px goods" at practically any grocery. chalk up points for free trade. free trade nga ba?

but i digress. i went shopping yesterday, and i realized it's the first time that i've really gone shopping with my own money. i'm a big fan (or victim?) of the impulse buy and the unexpected bargain find. this was the first time that i actually set out to buy a series of items with a view to actually shelling out good money for them.

after being stuck in an unholy traffic jam just outside ayala center, i was greeted by a huge banner announcing this quarter's midnight madness sale. i was actually one of the hordes who went to the very, very first midnight madness sale ages ago (i was in grade school, and the idea of shopping until midnight simply drove us all mad) and have had no desire to ever go to one again.

maybe maggie's fear of crowds (borne of megamall sales) has rubbed off on me. maybe it's not having enough money to actually shop until midnight. or maybe i'm just older and i tire more easily now. whatever it is, the prospect of midnight madness almost set me back on my way home.

good thing i braved it, though, because i actually came away with some good and quite practical buys.

1. blue corduroy jeans from terranova (to replace a similar pair from levis that was rendered forever useless by a huge inkstain on the butt). i really needed new pants. i already have a sh*tload of tops and skirts.
   
2. black tank top from terranova (to replace my torn one from giordano)
   
3. white bermuda shorts from penshoppe (my concession to current trends). got a hefty discount on this thanks to the sister's best friend, who's a big honcho over at penshoppe. just had to mention her name to the store manager and he let me use his employee ID to get a discount.
   
4. deep purple zip-up sweater from kirin-kirin (for my office, a.k.a. siberia)
5. burt's bees lip balm from beauty bar (also for my office, a.k.a. siberia)
6. short file folders from national (for my office desk, a.k.a. the abyss)
7. fat spiral notebook for marlon, who is pining away for national bookstore

i'm so proud of myself! no shoes at all!

i bumped into charlie, pia, anika, michiko, jett, mimoy and loi all in the space of thirty minutes. my goodness, everyone really does troop out for midnight madness. good thing i bumped into mimoy and loi, too -- we had a brief conversation at bo's coffee about banks, dollar rates and interest rates on time deposits, during which we realized that we really are getting old.

which reminds me that now that i've done my splurging, i should start taking care of what money i've got left.

or maybe there's a little room for just one teeny-weeny pair of shoes.

delikado 'to.

Whee! I'm at work on a Sunday!

this was taken by the extremely affable mr. rene mejia at last sunday's photo shoot for love to love season 9. (love to love is the only weekly show that i handle.) the cute cupid wings were supposed to be used that day, but were ditched at the last minute since cupid still hadn't been cast.

my partner charlie and rene were nice enough to indulge my ka-ksp-han after we wrapped up the morning session. after all, it was my very first shoot for my very first launch. :-)

as i was leaping around on a big white sheet of toilet paper, one of the crew remarked, "mukhang hindi ka kakayanin ng pakpak mo. ang dapat yata sa 'yo yung parang sa mulawin."

che! buti na lang good mood ako that day.

maybe creepy thin man (see previous post) was actually sent by the mysterious karmic forces of the universe to be a balm for my poor ego. hmmm.

---

can i just say that it is sooooo good to finally have a weekend to myself? this is the first weekend i've had in a month where i don't have 48,000 things to do. finally finished off the last of the rakets i took on when i was still freelancing (just retained my regular overseas client), and boy does it feel good to finally have time on my hands.

Gee! Your hair smells terrific

i may exude a mutant pheromone that attracts celebrities of the weirdest kind. like carlos agassi, who once yelled "i love you!" and enveloped me in a huge, sleeveless, poreless, perfumed bear hug in the middle of a room filled with press people (while sirens in my head blared GAY! GAY! GAY!). gross.

and then this new guy at last sunday's photo shoot. without having been introduced to me, or saying two words to me all day, he snuck up behind me, put his hands on my head, and began smelling my hair. as in i could feel the tip of his nose on my scalp. it's a good thing one outgrows the distinctive amoy araw scent of hair in grade school, and he didn't run away screaming.

granted, this minor celeb isn't quite as gross as the queen amir of rap (whatever the hell that means). he's actually fairly cute. and his next comment ("ang ganda ganda mo. para kang mexicana"), as well as his ensuing attempts at flirting, had kilig potential.

attention from a cute guy is always a good thing. it makes me feel like i'm in sixth grade again and i have just discovered boys. (actually hindi eh. i think i discovered boys when i was three. maybe sixth grade is when i discovered that boys could actually talk to you.)

but he just had to go and smell my hair, didn't he? that totally wrecks it.

Deadly duo

1. a walloping case of pms
2. a sh*tload of requirements for the launch of a new season

do not a happy strumpet make.

pota. i'm learning the hard way just what goes into launching a new show (or in my case, a new season of a long-running show). there are all these requirements for monday that i only realized i had to do TODAY. nyaaaargh.

the deadly duo of pms and work is creating in me a serious, potentially debilitating urge to go shopping. i have decided to get myself a new pair of work-friendly pants or bermuda shorts, a hipper laptop bag and a new book. i may or may not throw a pair of sandals and a bronze blusher into the bargain. it doesn't seem i'll have any free weekends in the immediate future, though.

in the meantime, thankfully, there are little pleasures one can cling to, such as:

1. the Chicks walloping the Dude in the almighty ratings game. that despite some extremely fake ratings going around. girl power!
2. when i sent a congratulatory text message to my program manager, she replied: "congrats to us! u r also part of the team!" awww.
3. the magic of chocolate -- especially if it comes in a large gold can labeled godiva and can be dissolved in a cup of steaming milk
4. a hearty helping of grease in the form of a mcdonald's cheeseburger, twister fries and chicken mcnuggets for lunch
5. globe's new promo rates for texts and calls to singapore: php7.50 per minute, php1 per text
6. the strange tickle i get from writing things on masking tape with a black pentel pen, which i have to do a lot now. the way the tip of the pen slides on the surface of the masking tape is perversely pleasing.
7. a deep, lovely tan from last weekend's puerto galera junket with marlon
8. the butterfly henna tattoo on my ankle, also from said junket
9. the prospect of picking up my check for my first 15 days of work. finally!

and of course, there's therapeutic blogging.

in other news, i will have my first artista photo shoot on sunday. jologs me will check in with y'all after then.

Rewards program

seeing this here gave me a nice little tickle. for one, the timestamp on the posting (6:22 a.m., upper left) tells me that me and my partner's knocking ourselves out to put our plugs out at 6 a.m. (around the time the network signs on) is not in vain.

two, people actually watch tv that early?

three, something i enjoyed making was noticed and appreciated by at least one person.

and four, it had its desired effect: "can't wait for tonight's episode!"

yay.

The heat is on

and though i've gotten more confident at my work, i'm still very much a newbie. ack!

the latest skirmish in the network wars now officially (although not directly, thank goodness) involves me, by way of that show that i write for. although i got an email about it first thing monday morning, the magnitude of the whole affair didn't sink in until people began to trickle by my cubicle to ask me how i was doing and if i was ok. over ha! affected sila!

then when i found myself stepping out of the elevator with the girl i replaced, she asked me: "o ano, deepa, are you ready for p a n d a y?" yes, that show (henceforth to be known as the Dude). going head to head with my show.

the buzz that the Dude has created around the office just makes me shake my head in wonder at just how different a world i've found myself in. sometimes it really does feel as if we're all marching into battle, or at least waiting expectantly for an army to appear on the horizon. i'm also reminded of that scene in the two towers where all the women and children plunk down patiently in the bowels of helmsdeep and wait for the battle to begin. no panic, no hysteria. they just know that something big is about to happen. living in a fortress, they're used to things like this.

and when the first set of head-to-head ratings came out, cheers from a few bosses on my floor. one was positively cackling while prancing around the floor. still, it's just the beginning.

while i don't feel as affected as other people (my partner steadily doing his magic in a similar vacuum), pressure is mounting. it's taken the form of a steadily growing pile of footage on my desk, waiting to be cut into the next kickass, heartwrenching, or 'pang-inis sa kabila' plug. or the rising frequency of calls and texts from my client, a.k.a. the production side of my show. or the giant lightbulbs that intermittently flare up in the program manager's head, resulting in more work for me and everyone in a 20-meter radius. (i'd hate to be in her shoes, though. the stress would drive me insane.)

the heat is indeed on. and somehow, it brings a perverse thrill. i especially enjoyed writing my script for tomorrow's episode -- the one that goes head to head with the Dude's pilot episode. the script just leapt out of me in minutes. and when i think of the kickass soundtrack that goes with it, my toes tingle imperceptibly.

yep, a perverse thrill. let me fleetingly savor it before i keel over and go brain-dead.

--

random sharing. while i was cabbing home through the streets of mandaluyong one night, i was possessed by the urge to roll down my window and shout to the general filipino tv-viewing populace: "alam niyo ba kung gaano karaming tao ang nagpapakapuyat para sa inyo?" thankfully, the urge passed.

something my boss said comes to mind. "walang libre sa mundo. pero maraming 'for the love of'."