The heat is on

and though i've gotten more confident at my work, i'm still very much a newbie. ack!

the latest skirmish in the network wars now officially (although not directly, thank goodness) involves me, by way of that show that i write for. although i got an email about it first thing monday morning, the magnitude of the whole affair didn't sink in until people began to trickle by my cubicle to ask me how i was doing and if i was ok. over ha! affected sila!

then when i found myself stepping out of the elevator with the girl i replaced, she asked me: "o ano, deepa, are you ready for p a n d a y?" yes, that show (henceforth to be known as the Dude). going head to head with my show.

the buzz that the Dude has created around the office just makes me shake my head in wonder at just how different a world i've found myself in. sometimes it really does feel as if we're all marching into battle, or at least waiting expectantly for an army to appear on the horizon. i'm also reminded of that scene in the two towers where all the women and children plunk down patiently in the bowels of helmsdeep and wait for the battle to begin. no panic, no hysteria. they just know that something big is about to happen. living in a fortress, they're used to things like this.

and when the first set of head-to-head ratings came out, cheers from a few bosses on my floor. one was positively cackling while prancing around the floor. still, it's just the beginning.

while i don't feel as affected as other people (my partner steadily doing his magic in a similar vacuum), pressure is mounting. it's taken the form of a steadily growing pile of footage on my desk, waiting to be cut into the next kickass, heartwrenching, or 'pang-inis sa kabila' plug. or the rising frequency of calls and texts from my client, a.k.a. the production side of my show. or the giant lightbulbs that intermittently flare up in the program manager's head, resulting in more work for me and everyone in a 20-meter radius. (i'd hate to be in her shoes, though. the stress would drive me insane.)

the heat is indeed on. and somehow, it brings a perverse thrill. i especially enjoyed writing my script for tomorrow's episode -- the one that goes head to head with the Dude's pilot episode. the script just leapt out of me in minutes. and when i think of the kickass soundtrack that goes with it, my toes tingle imperceptibly.

yep, a perverse thrill. let me fleetingly savor it before i keel over and go brain-dead.

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random sharing. while i was cabbing home through the streets of mandaluyong one night, i was possessed by the urge to roll down my window and shout to the general filipino tv-viewing populace: "alam niyo ba kung gaano karaming tao ang nagpapakapuyat para sa inyo?" thankfully, the urge passed.

something my boss said comes to mind. "walang libre sa mundo. pero maraming 'for the love of'."