i've had travel on the brain recently. what with daydreaming/hostel-hunting for barcelona and wrapping up the important details of the palawan trip on thursday. i thought i'd just let my mind wander a bit.
* sometimes i worry that i no longer know how to write for myself. at work, i write for a triumvirate: viewer (the fictitious "aling fely"), client, boss. sometimes i manage to throw myself in there somewhere, but that pretty much depends on how much i can become one (better if all) of the persons in the trio. don't get me wrong, i'm not unhappy at work. just -- worried.
my blog is supposed to be my own personal space, but lately i wonder if i've really been treating it that way. maybe i'm writing for a triumvirate here too -- here, at least, i should be part of it.
* right before my very first europe tour, i used to measure time in terms of the trip. the future was cut up into neat segments called "before i leave", "while i'm there" and "when i get back," each with a hope or goal pinned to it. i wrote about it in english class and sweet, wonderful doreen scribbled next to my A, "relax! just flow with it." i'm falling into that same habit again; anticipation can be so delicious. but this time there's no doreen to tell me to just let things happen.
* it's going to take a lot of guts for me to draw in the office on wednesday. it's not just that there are so many artists and creative people -- it's that there are a lot of opinionated ones as well. how many times have i been mean just to be funny?
* marlon and my family will be thrown together for four days. wonder how it'll go. can't help but think that he's being very brave about this.
* wonder if being in the philippines' most pristine corners of ocean will give me more ideas for my new baby. must take lots of pictures for charlie to use.
* sometimes i worry that i no longer know how to write for myself. at work, i write for a triumvirate: viewer (the fictitious "aling fely"), client, boss. sometimes i manage to throw myself in there somewhere, but that pretty much depends on how much i can become one (better if all) of the persons in the trio. don't get me wrong, i'm not unhappy at work. just -- worried.
my blog is supposed to be my own personal space, but lately i wonder if i've really been treating it that way. maybe i'm writing for a triumvirate here too -- here, at least, i should be part of it.
* right before my very first europe tour, i used to measure time in terms of the trip. the future was cut up into neat segments called "before i leave", "while i'm there" and "when i get back," each with a hope or goal pinned to it. i wrote about it in english class and sweet, wonderful doreen scribbled next to my A, "relax! just flow with it." i'm falling into that same habit again; anticipation can be so delicious. but this time there's no doreen to tell me to just let things happen.
* it's going to take a lot of guts for me to draw in the office on wednesday. it's not just that there are so many artists and creative people -- it's that there are a lot of opinionated ones as well. how many times have i been mean just to be funny?
* marlon and my family will be thrown together for four days. wonder how it'll go. can't help but think that he's being very brave about this.
* wonder if being in the philippines' most pristine corners of ocean will give me more ideas for my new baby. must take lots of pictures for charlie to use.
i'm excited for you tatat, barcelona was fun when i visited summer after third year, and palawan was gorgeous way back in high school. (sadly i cannot afford to go on ANY travelling adventures these days, looking forward to seeing places vicariously through your kwentos!) i have no doubt that you will enjoy yourself. ma'am doreen may no longer be around to comment on your writing, but i'll have you know that whenever i visit your blog, i still enjoy reading about your thoughts on work, marlon, etc. etc. just as much as i enjoyed reading our doodles and passed notes in college. miss you much, hope we can get together after your trips, wishing you nothing but the best always. :)
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